Waking up, a man finds himself standing waist deep in a pit of tar.
The dark, heavy tar yearned for the man to struggle, as it would pull and consume him beneath its' underbelly.
And instead of struggling and pleading with the tar, as he often did, he looked up and saw the trees humming and dancing with the wind above him.
He looked beyond the trees and saw the majestic, fluffy clouds gently passing by, almost to whisper: "Hi there, how are you?"
Beyond that, he saw the clear blue sky that nurtured the fluffy, white clouds, and danced with the trees.
As he looked up further, he saw the sun. And at that very moment, he embraced its vibrant colors and felt its warmth on his skin and in his heart.
Perhaps... just perhaps today will be different.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
|:: Morning Showers ::|
even though i don't have a job anymore, i still usually wake up at 8am. i think it's good that i maintain the consistency of waking up early in the mornings, because i don't want life to pass by me. day time is always the best time for me to get work done. in the mornings, i am free of distractions, free of yesterday's emotions, free from the responsibilities of the coming day, free from everyone.
but the best part of waking up early is the morning shower. i tend to do a lot of thinking in the shower; it makes me feel really refreshed and helps me clear my mind. the feeling of the warm water as it trickles down my back and around my body feels emotionally healing. the water hugs me in a way that is so amazing, i'm not sure if anyone else knows the feeling... like a warm hug that old ends when i turn off.
the warm steam, the droplets of waters as it hits the tub just feels so peaceful. the water is always a friend, always happy to wrap around you and keep you close and refresh. the water is never judgemential, never angry, never bitching, never stressful, never loud, never rushing, never calculative, just warm and embracing.
outside of the water is the cold, harsh world. and i know that i must step out of the water, but for the moments that i am loved by it, it is heaven. so until tomorrow, i wait for my next warm shower.
but the best part of waking up early is the morning shower. i tend to do a lot of thinking in the shower; it makes me feel really refreshed and helps me clear my mind. the feeling of the warm water as it trickles down my back and around my body feels emotionally healing. the water hugs me in a way that is so amazing, i'm not sure if anyone else knows the feeling... like a warm hug that old ends when i turn off.
the warm steam, the droplets of waters as it hits the tub just feels so peaceful. the water is always a friend, always happy to wrap around you and keep you close and refresh. the water is never judgemential, never angry, never bitching, never stressful, never loud, never rushing, never calculative, just warm and embracing.
outside of the water is the cold, harsh world. and i know that i must step out of the water, but for the moments that i am loved by it, it is heaven. so until tomorrow, i wait for my next warm shower.
Monday, June 29, 2009
|:: Tribute to Micheal Jackson ::|
june 25th, 2009, micheal jackson dies of a cardio arrest. one day later, the whole world morns over his passing. at first i didn't really care much about it because, to be honest, it really doesn't affect me in any way. i mean in terms of what life is like for me right now, there is little affect that it makes on me. but as i sit here at the laundromat waiting for my laundries to wash, i open up my newly downloaded best hits collection of micheal jackson from a few days ago, and started listening.
it wasn't till the second or third song or so, when i finally realized that the world had lost such an amazing person. it is easy when i sit here and retrospect back at all of michael's accomplishments, and with a bit of a cocky attitude i think to myself that "anyone could have done this" but that's totally not true! michael jackson was a legend because he invited this style of music! he was the first of his kind! and when i think about me trying to invite something so influential and so powerful, the thought scares me; and then, i realize how important of a figure michael really was.
i think back at all the times when i criticized him when the media makes such ridiculous accusations about michael's child obsession, and how he harasses the children. and back then it was just another way to make fun of him, and i followed it without any thought. now that i am older and more sensitive to these issues, i sit back and wonder, what if he just really loves to be around children. like a passion, what if that was what inspired michael and made him whole, more than anything. how could that be wrong? and yet as a society, we tore apart his dream, his passion; maybe that's why he lost the motivation and had no choice but to turn his back against a cold scornful world.
my tribute to one of our most amazing musical legend the world has ever know, michael jackson, rest in peace. may your dreams come true in the next life, and may your spirit be heard for all eternity. for you have made a difference in my life, and i will keep you in my memories and heart.
it wasn't till the second or third song or so, when i finally realized that the world had lost such an amazing person. it is easy when i sit here and retrospect back at all of michael's accomplishments, and with a bit of a cocky attitude i think to myself that "anyone could have done this" but that's totally not true! michael jackson was a legend because he invited this style of music! he was the first of his kind! and when i think about me trying to invite something so influential and so powerful, the thought scares me; and then, i realize how important of a figure michael really was.
i think back at all the times when i criticized him when the media makes such ridiculous accusations about michael's child obsession, and how he harasses the children. and back then it was just another way to make fun of him, and i followed it without any thought. now that i am older and more sensitive to these issues, i sit back and wonder, what if he just really loves to be around children. like a passion, what if that was what inspired michael and made him whole, more than anything. how could that be wrong? and yet as a society, we tore apart his dream, his passion; maybe that's why he lost the motivation and had no choice but to turn his back against a cold scornful world.
my tribute to one of our most amazing musical legend the world has ever know, michael jackson, rest in peace. may your dreams come true in the next life, and may your spirit be heard for all eternity. for you have made a difference in my life, and i will keep you in my memories and heart.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
|:: Vietnam ::|
i grew up in vietnam for 8 years before coming to the states. many say that this was the best thing that could happen to me because of the great opportunities that i was given to be here. and remembering where i came from, i don't disagree with that statement.
i've been back to vietnam more than 3 times now. and each time has been memorable, but each time, i feel less and less compelled to go back. i think as i grow older and see more of what vietnam is like, i grow to dislike it and what it stands for. but as i say that, my heart feels uneasy when i think about my family members who are still there, still stuck in that place where i don't want to be.
my parents when back to vietnam a few months ago to visit family and take care of family issues. apparently, it was some important issues that needed my mom's immediate presence, but of course with my mom, everything is an emergency when it comes it vietnam family. needless to say, it was amazing when they were gone for the month. they came back safely this week and brought back some pictures that they had taken.
my parents where really the same after they came back from the trip. my dad seemed more unhappy and grumpy everyday, and my mom seemed to not care about things particularly. nothing seemed to have changed from before they left to when they got back. and the stuff that they brought back is shit! but it is the thought that counts i guess.
plus they had a lot of trouble when they were there because one passenger on their flight had the swine flu, and the vietnamese government wanted to quarantine my parents. they ended up having to stay at my grandmothers house for 2 weeks without being able to go anywhere. i think this is one of the main reasons that pissed my dad off so much, he felt so cheated and that he wasted his money on the damn trip. and he felt that my mom made him go on the trip, but he could have told her no, if he was more man about it.
so they came back safe and sound, bring along with them some pictures of the family back in vietnam. i honestly can't say that i miss vietnam because, well... there are quite a few reasons why i wouldn't want to go back. one is that it is way to damn crowded, with so many people everywhere! two being the pollution is off the records, it's hard to even get a fresh breath of air there. and third is that there is no hope for opportunity there if you are poor or middle class. the rich own so much and have so much power, it's insane to think about what they can do.
i looked at the pictures today, because i was asked to make a movie cd, so that everyone could see the pictures too. and when i looked at the pictures i saw that everyone was smiling but no one was happy. it was not surprising to see that since it was a crutial time for my family with grandmother and grandfather's health conditions not doing so well. as i looked at each picture, i asked myself deep down if i miss it there, and with a loud scream i could hear myself saying "hell no!" yet i saw the faces of my little cousins who lived there and had to survive there. and i felt sorry for them, to not be able to see the world the way that i had the opportunity to. to be able to choose my future and do as i please, they will have a hard time when they grow up.
though i would have liked to help them out, i know that i can't and i shouldn't because i have my own life to live and issues to solve. all i can do is wish them the best of luck and think of them with a happy smile.
i've been back to vietnam more than 3 times now. and each time has been memorable, but each time, i feel less and less compelled to go back. i think as i grow older and see more of what vietnam is like, i grow to dislike it and what it stands for. but as i say that, my heart feels uneasy when i think about my family members who are still there, still stuck in that place where i don't want to be.
my parents when back to vietnam a few months ago to visit family and take care of family issues. apparently, it was some important issues that needed my mom's immediate presence, but of course with my mom, everything is an emergency when it comes it vietnam family. needless to say, it was amazing when they were gone for the month. they came back safely this week and brought back some pictures that they had taken.
my parents where really the same after they came back from the trip. my dad seemed more unhappy and grumpy everyday, and my mom seemed to not care about things particularly. nothing seemed to have changed from before they left to when they got back. and the stuff that they brought back is shit! but it is the thought that counts i guess.
plus they had a lot of trouble when they were there because one passenger on their flight had the swine flu, and the vietnamese government wanted to quarantine my parents. they ended up having to stay at my grandmothers house for 2 weeks without being able to go anywhere. i think this is one of the main reasons that pissed my dad off so much, he felt so cheated and that he wasted his money on the damn trip. and he felt that my mom made him go on the trip, but he could have told her no, if he was more man about it.
so they came back safe and sound, bring along with them some pictures of the family back in vietnam. i honestly can't say that i miss vietnam because, well... there are quite a few reasons why i wouldn't want to go back. one is that it is way to damn crowded, with so many people everywhere! two being the pollution is off the records, it's hard to even get a fresh breath of air there. and third is that there is no hope for opportunity there if you are poor or middle class. the rich own so much and have so much power, it's insane to think about what they can do.
i looked at the pictures today, because i was asked to make a movie cd, so that everyone could see the pictures too. and when i looked at the pictures i saw that everyone was smiling but no one was happy. it was not surprising to see that since it was a crutial time for my family with grandmother and grandfather's health conditions not doing so well. as i looked at each picture, i asked myself deep down if i miss it there, and with a loud scream i could hear myself saying "hell no!" yet i saw the faces of my little cousins who lived there and had to survive there. and i felt sorry for them, to not be able to see the world the way that i had the opportunity to. to be able to choose my future and do as i please, they will have a hard time when they grow up.
though i would have liked to help them out, i know that i can't and i shouldn't because i have my own life to live and issues to solve. all i can do is wish them the best of luck and think of them with a happy smile.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
|:: Mirror of One-self ::|
i just finished playing this game by rich dad poor dad on financial freedom from the "rat race". at first i was winning and i seemed to have the right formula for winning the game. and as the creator of the game stated in his book about this game is that it is suppose to be a mirror reflection of one-self, in the sense that you are playing the game and making decisions as if you were in real life.
the first two times i played the game, i was able to make it out of the rat race and won the game; things seemed easy. but then all my luck changed and i was beginning to roll out a series of losing streaks. i was both trying to maintain my strategy for winning as well as trying new tactics of investing, but with no luck what-so-ever! the computer on the other hand was getting all the sweet ass deals and was killing me... so if the game was meant as a mirror of who i am, then does that mean that i am destined to lose in real life as well???
good god! i hope that that's not true because i'm pretty sure i have good luck in life. i mean, i am where i am now financially and with pretty good health, so i must have been lucky. maybe i'm missing the whole point of the game, but it's a bit different every time, but i'm sure i will get it down once i play it more and more. but what bothers me the most is that the game is highly dependent on luck. i'm sure the creator will tell me that i can hedge the investments to lower the dependency on luck in the game, but how do you combat bad luck? interesting...
the first two times i played the game, i was able to make it out of the rat race and won the game; things seemed easy. but then all my luck changed and i was beginning to roll out a series of losing streaks. i was both trying to maintain my strategy for winning as well as trying new tactics of investing, but with no luck what-so-ever! the computer on the other hand was getting all the sweet ass deals and was killing me... so if the game was meant as a mirror of who i am, then does that mean that i am destined to lose in real life as well???
good god! i hope that that's not true because i'm pretty sure i have good luck in life. i mean, i am where i am now financially and with pretty good health, so i must have been lucky. maybe i'm missing the whole point of the game, but it's a bit different every time, but i'm sure i will get it down once i play it more and more. but what bothers me the most is that the game is highly dependent on luck. i'm sure the creator will tell me that i can hedge the investments to lower the dependency on luck in the game, but how do you combat bad luck? interesting...
|:: 3 Weeks Later ::|
here we are 3 weeks later after being unemployed and what do i have to show for it? besides the happiest feeling of being free from working for someone, and the ability to do whatever i want whenever i want, things are going well. why not great and only well? because i need progression.
progression in terms of achieving my goals and dreams. my goal is to not have to work for someone in the next 2 years. it is also to be financially independent before i am 35 years old. so progression is the movement from where i am now to where my goals lay... and right now, i feel as though i am making progression but not at the rate of which i want to be moving.
waiting was never my strong point, but i understand the importance of being patience. i need to keep pushing myself to make progress now because all that is driving me is my motivation. this is quite different from having a day job where you don't have to think about doing something, because it's expected of you to go to work. but when you work for yourself, you are everything. knowing myself, i hope i don't work myself down too hard.
progression in terms of achieving my goals and dreams. my goal is to not have to work for someone in the next 2 years. it is also to be financially independent before i am 35 years old. so progression is the movement from where i am now to where my goals lay... and right now, i feel as though i am making progression but not at the rate of which i want to be moving.
waiting was never my strong point, but i understand the importance of being patience. i need to keep pushing myself to make progress now because all that is driving me is my motivation. this is quite different from having a day job where you don't have to think about doing something, because it's expected of you to go to work. but when you work for yourself, you are everything. knowing myself, i hope i don't work myself down too hard.
Monday, June 15, 2009
|:: Race to Financial Independence ::|
today i finished a very important book on how to think like the rich. the book is a story with lessons of how to manage money and how to be financially intelligent. i've really been looking for a book like this which really explains the meaning of money, and how to create and maintain money.
ever since i was 12 years old, i've been working. whether it be working at the mall as a sales clerk, a janitor, a ball boy, knives salesmen, grocery dairy clerk, cake maker, cashier, help desk clerk, paperboy, database admin, you name it and i've probably done it in some sort of manner. and all the while i've always wondered what the whole meaning of it all was. no matter where i worked or what i did, it was never fulfilling, the feeling of getting that paper paycheck or seeing my bank numbers increase at the end of each month was just not cutting it; it never was.
at the start of each job, i would be happy that i got a new job, because there would be something new that i could learn from the job. but after a few months of doing the same repetitive things, without any new things to learn, i get really bored and then lose all motivation to work. i would spend most of my time finding reasons or ways to not have to go to work the next day. laziness starts to sink in and before long, i would hate the job. i would then get so uneasy about it that i would quit and find a new job, and at the new job, the same thing would happen again; the process never ends.
all my life, this is what i have know any done. and never was i happy about having to follow this endless track of working with no passion. i never found happiness or satisfaction with my money, no matter how much i had, it always felt like it was nothing or meant nothing. and the reason was because, like so many millions of people out there, i was forced to work hard and waiting patiently for a paycheck to come at the end of each month. and when it came, i would worry about the next month, whether i would get another paycheck. not that i didn't have job security, but it was more like i felt tired of running in circles aimlessly for monthly paychecks.
it was so unsatisfying! how was it all worth my time and effort? was this how my life was going to be for the next 20 to 30 years? the thought of it terrified me to death. but now, there is a way out of this vicious cycle, and i have finally discovered it. finally, the empty feeling in my heart about the whole purpose of money and the value of my time has a meaning.
for a long time, i had thought that the real issue was either the job, the type of work, the managers, the company's policies, the co-workers, etc etc. and i would blame all my woes on these factors for my unhappiness; yet job after job, i found myself repeating this blaming game over and over again. but i now realize that it wasn't the case at all, because my dissatisfaction lies on a much deeper level than simply pointing the finger at others or factors that i could not control. it was me! it was my laziness that led me to be stuck in the situation that i was in, working for someone, and it was my laziness that blinded me from all the other possibilities out there other than slaving away for a company.
first, understanding that my mind set and attitude has to change, i am able to fully embrace new ideas and teachings. i can now grasp the lessons of this new book that i finished and start applying it to my life to move me away from the anger of chasing for paychecks to ultimately controlling my money, and having money generate more money for me. now instead of chasing and slaving away for someone for money, i'm going to create money, and have a stream of money coming to me without me having to slave away ever again! i'm going to reach for my financial independence.
ever since i was 12 years old, i've been working. whether it be working at the mall as a sales clerk, a janitor, a ball boy, knives salesmen, grocery dairy clerk, cake maker, cashier, help desk clerk, paperboy, database admin, you name it and i've probably done it in some sort of manner. and all the while i've always wondered what the whole meaning of it all was. no matter where i worked or what i did, it was never fulfilling, the feeling of getting that paper paycheck or seeing my bank numbers increase at the end of each month was just not cutting it; it never was.
at the start of each job, i would be happy that i got a new job, because there would be something new that i could learn from the job. but after a few months of doing the same repetitive things, without any new things to learn, i get really bored and then lose all motivation to work. i would spend most of my time finding reasons or ways to not have to go to work the next day. laziness starts to sink in and before long, i would hate the job. i would then get so uneasy about it that i would quit and find a new job, and at the new job, the same thing would happen again; the process never ends.
all my life, this is what i have know any done. and never was i happy about having to follow this endless track of working with no passion. i never found happiness or satisfaction with my money, no matter how much i had, it always felt like it was nothing or meant nothing. and the reason was because, like so many millions of people out there, i was forced to work hard and waiting patiently for a paycheck to come at the end of each month. and when it came, i would worry about the next month, whether i would get another paycheck. not that i didn't have job security, but it was more like i felt tired of running in circles aimlessly for monthly paychecks.
it was so unsatisfying! how was it all worth my time and effort? was this how my life was going to be for the next 20 to 30 years? the thought of it terrified me to death. but now, there is a way out of this vicious cycle, and i have finally discovered it. finally, the empty feeling in my heart about the whole purpose of money and the value of my time has a meaning.
for a long time, i had thought that the real issue was either the job, the type of work, the managers, the company's policies, the co-workers, etc etc. and i would blame all my woes on these factors for my unhappiness; yet job after job, i found myself repeating this blaming game over and over again. but i now realize that it wasn't the case at all, because my dissatisfaction lies on a much deeper level than simply pointing the finger at others or factors that i could not control. it was me! it was my laziness that led me to be stuck in the situation that i was in, working for someone, and it was my laziness that blinded me from all the other possibilities out there other than slaving away for a company.
first, understanding that my mind set and attitude has to change, i am able to fully embrace new ideas and teachings. i can now grasp the lessons of this new book that i finished and start applying it to my life to move me away from the anger of chasing for paychecks to ultimately controlling my money, and having money generate more money for me. now instead of chasing and slaving away for someone for money, i'm going to create money, and have a stream of money coming to me without me having to slave away ever again! i'm going to reach for my financial independence.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
|:: The Old Farts Are Back! ::|
my parents left for a vacation to vietnam to visit family last month. the whole trip was last minute and i'm sure my dad wasn't too pleased about the whole thing. he was against it since there was so much chaos from the swine flu thing in asia, he wanted to push the travel day to a much later date, but my mom forced him to go.
seriously though, after they left, my happiness increased by at least 200%. and not just me either, my brother's happiness, my wife's, my other monkey brother's, even my dog roccio's happiness increased because of it. shoot, i think the who world became 2% more happy and well balanced because of it! my world at least.
the house was so nice and loud when they were gone. we could actually blast the music up during the day or night time whenever we wanted, we could eat and wash (or not wash) dishes whenever we felt like it, we didn't have to clean up anything in the house that we didn't want to, it was absolute freedom! the best part was not having my mom asking so many stupid questions about so many things that she didn't understand. and believe me, there are A LOT of things that my mom doesn't understand! also, there wasn't my dad who keeps on nagging and nagging about how we all do things that he doesn't like. and believe me, there are A LOT of things that my dad doesn't like! hmmm, now i see why they are perfect for each other!
well... the month is over now officially today, at exactly 2:24 pm, when the two old farts came home from their trip. the day that everyone in the house dreads over, d-day to say the least. now the house is so quiet, too quiet, i can hear myself think too clearly, so now i'm back to my crazy think2much self... which explains why i'm still up at 12:56 am writing this blog post lol.
can't wait until they go off to another trip again, but i'm sure that that won't happen for another 2 years or so... how depressing. i'll start counting the days right.... now, and hopefully, i won't even be here in this damn allergy infested house when they do leave again. urrgggg, my body cringes when i think of them being home now.
seriously though, after they left, my happiness increased by at least 200%. and not just me either, my brother's happiness, my wife's, my other monkey brother's, even my dog roccio's happiness increased because of it. shoot, i think the who world became 2% more happy and well balanced because of it! my world at least.
the house was so nice and loud when they were gone. we could actually blast the music up during the day or night time whenever we wanted, we could eat and wash (or not wash) dishes whenever we felt like it, we didn't have to clean up anything in the house that we didn't want to, it was absolute freedom! the best part was not having my mom asking so many stupid questions about so many things that she didn't understand. and believe me, there are A LOT of things that my mom doesn't understand! also, there wasn't my dad who keeps on nagging and nagging about how we all do things that he doesn't like. and believe me, there are A LOT of things that my dad doesn't like! hmmm, now i see why they are perfect for each other!
well... the month is over now officially today, at exactly 2:24 pm, when the two old farts came home from their trip. the day that everyone in the house dreads over, d-day to say the least. now the house is so quiet, too quiet, i can hear myself think too clearly, so now i'm back to my crazy think2much self... which explains why i'm still up at 12:56 am writing this blog post lol.
can't wait until they go off to another trip again, but i'm sure that that won't happen for another 2 years or so... how depressing. i'll start counting the days right.... now, and hopefully, i won't even be here in this damn allergy infested house when they do leave again. urrgggg, my body cringes when i think of them being home now.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
|:: iPod for $30 ::|
i got bored a few days ago in the morning when everyone was still sleeping, so i decided to go on craigslist to find things that i can buy. i was surfing for things like memory cards for my psp because i wanted to get a bigger card so that i can put music and videos onto.
earlier i had decided not go get anything related to apple because of the bad experience that i had with their ipods. been having problems with the battery of the thing going bad on me all the time. there had been issues with their battery not being able to maintain a charge after some time.
anyhow, i was surfing around only to find that no one was selling cheap memory stick pro duos. i hate that part about sony, all their stuff is proprietary and no one else but them do that. and when new stuff comes out they usually cost an arm and a leg to get. but craigslist had no one selling memory sticks for cheap, so i went to ebay to see if i can get some cheap counterfeit parts from china, only to get turn off by the not so cheap prices there as well.
so with too much time and no other ideas, i decided to look for ipods on sale. surprisingly there were a number of people who were selling ipods for relative to cheap price. particularly i wanted to get the ipod nano that was either 4gb or 8gb video version. and there were a few people selling them for $50 or less; not bad. i emailed 3 seller asking them for pictures and got 2 replies. both sellers had ipods in good conditions, one was baby blue and the other was pink.
there was a string of email tag but finally i offered my price of $30 to both sellers. one person was totally against it and wanted $45, but the other person was willing to sell for $30; she claims that she had bills to pay so she was okay with the deal. sweet! unfortunately, she lived an hour away from my house, and we would have to go to her residence to pick up the ipod.
the drive was long, but it was alright because it was worth it. we bought the ipod because it was actually in really good condition with almost no major scratches. i paid $30 and got an almost brand new 8gb ipod nano with video capability. i love craigslist lol!
earlier i had decided not go get anything related to apple because of the bad experience that i had with their ipods. been having problems with the battery of the thing going bad on me all the time. there had been issues with their battery not being able to maintain a charge after some time.
anyhow, i was surfing around only to find that no one was selling cheap memory stick pro duos. i hate that part about sony, all their stuff is proprietary and no one else but them do that. and when new stuff comes out they usually cost an arm and a leg to get. but craigslist had no one selling memory sticks for cheap, so i went to ebay to see if i can get some cheap counterfeit parts from china, only to get turn off by the not so cheap prices there as well.
so with too much time and no other ideas, i decided to look for ipods on sale. surprisingly there were a number of people who were selling ipods for relative to cheap price. particularly i wanted to get the ipod nano that was either 4gb or 8gb video version. and there were a few people selling them for $50 or less; not bad. i emailed 3 seller asking them for pictures and got 2 replies. both sellers had ipods in good conditions, one was baby blue and the other was pink.
there was a string of email tag but finally i offered my price of $30 to both sellers. one person was totally against it and wanted $45, but the other person was willing to sell for $30; she claims that she had bills to pay so she was okay with the deal. sweet! unfortunately, she lived an hour away from my house, and we would have to go to her residence to pick up the ipod.
the drive was long, but it was alright because it was worth it. we bought the ipod because it was actually in really good condition with almost no major scratches. i paid $30 and got an almost brand new 8gb ipod nano with video capability. i love craigslist lol!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
|:: Wednesday Beach Time ::|
this is a continuation of the previous post to highly last week in retrospect. =)
wednesday was a great day. woke up later than usual because i wanted to, i actually woke up around 7 again but instead of dragging myself out of bed, i choose to stay in bed and sleep some more. it felt wonderful to be able to freely do so without having the guilty feeling of "crap i have to get to work". i looked over to wifey as she was sleeping soundly, the room was quite and peaceful, without knowing it i made a little smirk and laughed silently before closing my eyes to go back to dreamland.
woke up again around 11 feeling truly refreshed and relaxed. went outside to check if anyone was up and no one was in sight. the room was too cold for some odd reason, so i decided to hang out in the living room playing psp. about an hour later, my monkey brothers and wifey wake up. we ate lunch together and some more monkey brothers came over to hang out. one of the monkeys had a great idea of going to the beach and sun tanning. the beach was really nice and lots of people usually go there, so it was a sweet idea.
but before we went to the beach 2 of the other monkey brothers wanted to go play some basketball, so i was totally up for that. we jumped into the car and headed to the basketball courts. it was sad to see how we all were so out of practice. we started with a game of 21 between the three monkeys and myself; let's just say we never finished the game because we were either too horrible or tired to put extra effort into the game. now, that's not to say that we didn't try, but let's be honest, we're all getting old whom had not been exercising. later 4 more people came and we played a quick game, which we got owned on.
after basketball we all went back home to get things ready for the beach. it didn't take us much time at all to get all the things together, it was going to be a relaxing time at the beach so we didn't really need much. when we got to the beach, there was already so many people there, hot people and lots more not so hot looking people, nonetheless it was great to see everyone there. we found a nice spot near the water and chilled out there under the nice sun. although it was windy there, the heat was still pretty intense.
i wanted to try to go into the water to cool off, but i notice that there was no one in the water... odd, oh well let's try it out anyways. when i put my feet into the water, i immediately knew why there was no one in the water, it was so freaking cold! almost immediately my feet went numb from the coldness, it was too crazy, so no more water for me. there was this one woman who was brave enough to not only walk into the water, but she even went out and dipped all the way into the water, freaking insane, she's obvious not from here...
some hours later, we packed up and went home. one of the monkey said that he would cook hamburgers and hotdogs for all of us, so we went to the store to get some goods. he made a mess while cooking... but the food was otherwise quite good. after we all ate, we sat around and played mario kart together.
all and all it was a great day. =)
wednesday was a great day. woke up later than usual because i wanted to, i actually woke up around 7 again but instead of dragging myself out of bed, i choose to stay in bed and sleep some more. it felt wonderful to be able to freely do so without having the guilty feeling of "crap i have to get to work". i looked over to wifey as she was sleeping soundly, the room was quite and peaceful, without knowing it i made a little smirk and laughed silently before closing my eyes to go back to dreamland.
woke up again around 11 feeling truly refreshed and relaxed. went outside to check if anyone was up and no one was in sight. the room was too cold for some odd reason, so i decided to hang out in the living room playing psp. about an hour later, my monkey brothers and wifey wake up. we ate lunch together and some more monkey brothers came over to hang out. one of the monkeys had a great idea of going to the beach and sun tanning. the beach was really nice and lots of people usually go there, so it was a sweet idea.
but before we went to the beach 2 of the other monkey brothers wanted to go play some basketball, so i was totally up for that. we jumped into the car and headed to the basketball courts. it was sad to see how we all were so out of practice. we started with a game of 21 between the three monkeys and myself; let's just say we never finished the game because we were either too horrible or tired to put extra effort into the game. now, that's not to say that we didn't try, but let's be honest, we're all getting old whom had not been exercising. later 4 more people came and we played a quick game, which we got owned on.
after basketball we all went back home to get things ready for the beach. it didn't take us much time at all to get all the things together, it was going to be a relaxing time at the beach so we didn't really need much. when we got to the beach, there was already so many people there, hot people and lots more not so hot looking people, nonetheless it was great to see everyone there. we found a nice spot near the water and chilled out there under the nice sun. although it was windy there, the heat was still pretty intense.
i wanted to try to go into the water to cool off, but i notice that there was no one in the water... odd, oh well let's try it out anyways. when i put my feet into the water, i immediately knew why there was no one in the water, it was so freaking cold! almost immediately my feet went numb from the coldness, it was too crazy, so no more water for me. there was this one woman who was brave enough to not only walk into the water, but she even went out and dipped all the way into the water, freaking insane, she's obvious not from here...
some hours later, we packed up and went home. one of the monkey said that he would cook hamburgers and hotdogs for all of us, so we went to the store to get some goods. he made a mess while cooking... but the food was otherwise quite good. after we all ate, we sat around and played mario kart together.
all and all it was a great day. =)
|:: Feels Like Retirement ::|
well i'm too young to know what real retirement feels like, but not having to go to work everyday and having all this free time sure feels very close to it. it's been a week since i quit work. i haven't done some of things that i told myself i would do once i quit my work, the biggest being finding a new job. but instead, i have been spending my time doing the things that i want to do, the things that i didn't have time to do when i was working. it's been a long time since i've been able to do this, so i'm enjoying every moment of it.
after my last day of work on friday, i was left feeling a bit down. more than anything, i was worried about what was to happen to me now, whether i would be able to find another job and about money issues. that sluggish-down feeling lasted through the weekend, and although i had a great weekend of activities, it still felt a bit hollow. i don't know, somehow it became increasingly hard to shake off the void that work once took up. sunday was pretty much the same, except we stayed home and i did nothing.
monday swings around and the full feeling of unemployment kicks in early in the morning. thought i had to be a bit productive, so i worked on that little program of mine and finished it. after that i spent most of the time playing games and helping make dinner, which was freaking amazing! i'm glad that wifey didn't bitch me out for being in the slump now that i got all the time that i craved and wanted for. she was quite understanding that this is how i am, so i just needed some time.
tuesday is when things got more interesting. it was a beautiful sunny day, one of the hottest days in the week, and roccio was prancing around restlessly wanting to go kai kai. so wifey and i walked roccio in the hot sunny day. we went to the lake nearby. there wasn't a lot of people there, but there was this one couple with their beagle dog named Molly, who howled each time a new dog entered the lake area; it was quite amusing and cute. it was such a beautiful day, wifey and i decided to come back to the lake for some swimming and sun tanning. the water was warm but still chilly for my taste, but wifey didn't mind and had a fun time swimming. we spent 2 hours at the lake and really had a good time. i guess that's when i got out of the slumpy feeling and realized that this is more of what i should be doing with my time, instead of staying home and feeling down.
there is so much life out there to live, and now i have to chance to do it. it was empowering, and i told myself - from today on, i'm going to be happy; i'm going to live my life the way i want to, the way it was intended to be.
after my last day of work on friday, i was left feeling a bit down. more than anything, i was worried about what was to happen to me now, whether i would be able to find another job and about money issues. that sluggish-down feeling lasted through the weekend, and although i had a great weekend of activities, it still felt a bit hollow. i don't know, somehow it became increasingly hard to shake off the void that work once took up. sunday was pretty much the same, except we stayed home and i did nothing.
monday swings around and the full feeling of unemployment kicks in early in the morning. thought i had to be a bit productive, so i worked on that little program of mine and finished it. after that i spent most of the time playing games and helping make dinner, which was freaking amazing! i'm glad that wifey didn't bitch me out for being in the slump now that i got all the time that i craved and wanted for. she was quite understanding that this is how i am, so i just needed some time.
tuesday is when things got more interesting. it was a beautiful sunny day, one of the hottest days in the week, and roccio was prancing around restlessly wanting to go kai kai. so wifey and i walked roccio in the hot sunny day. we went to the lake nearby. there wasn't a lot of people there, but there was this one couple with their beagle dog named Molly, who howled each time a new dog entered the lake area; it was quite amusing and cute. it was such a beautiful day, wifey and i decided to come back to the lake for some swimming and sun tanning. the water was warm but still chilly for my taste, but wifey didn't mind and had a fun time swimming. we spent 2 hours at the lake and really had a good time. i guess that's when i got out of the slumpy feeling and realized that this is more of what i should be doing with my time, instead of staying home and feeling down.
there is so much life out there to live, and now i have to chance to do it. it was empowering, and i told myself - from today on, i'm going to be happy; i'm going to live my life the way i want to, the way it was intended to be.
Monday, June 1, 2009
|:: Oh June ::|
as yes, june is here, a new month of new posts. i'm excited because i've never been able to consistently been able to have a single place to gather my thoughts. usually ends up lost in my head as i tend to not share my feelings and thoughts to people, specially those who i am not familiar with or close with. but now look at me, posting regularly on this blog, and although i don't really know if anyone other than wifey is reading this, it still an amazing accomplishment for me.
so let's start june out with a post about stupid damn allergies again. today, i couldn't sleep because i was having a hard time breathing while facing my favorite side of the bed. woke up at 6:45 am and crawled out of bed. sat in front of the computer wanting to finish an excel program that i created. i have a lot of motivation to complete this program because it means that i can do things better than a certain group of indian people... i'll just leave it at that.
as i started working, the allergies started to get worse. first it started with the sneezing, then the runny nose, followed by the itchy eyes. now, i'm not much of a medicine person if you have been following my posts, so i tend to steer away from any medication. but just for kicks, i wanted to try what benedryl can do, so i popped one in my mouth and continued working. i am expecting the pill to alleviate some of my allergy symptoms and make me drowsy, since i wanted to go back to bed anyways.
after an hour surely enough i was getting sleepy, so i headed straight back into bed where wifey was sleepy ever so soundly. i cuddled up to her to steal her body heat and passed out. 2 hours later, i woke up feeling light headed and a bit dazed. must have been the effects of the benedryl still coursing through my veins. wifey just got up by the time that i woke up again, she was on the computer checking her facebook and emails as usual. everything seemed fine, so we got up and got ready for lunch.
i'm not sure when, but sometime after lunch my eyes started to feel really itchy. so i scratched it hard with my hand and continued to scratch to alleviate the dreadful itchy feeling. then before i knew it, i felt my eyes watering up... and that's when i knew that i was in deep shit. almost in minutes my left eye swelled up like crazy and i could feel the discomfort in my eye with every blink. it feels like when you have an eyelash that is stuck in one of your eye and you know that it's there. you can feel it bothering your eye, but you can NEVER get rid of the eyelash. that's how i felt.
it's been 5 hours now. i have taken a 2 hour nap and been up for 3 hours trying to get over this damn irritating feeling; still haven't gone away. lesson of the day is: i fucking hate this shit damn allergy!!! and i guess don't scratch my eyes so hard -___-"
so let's start june out with a post about stupid damn allergies again. today, i couldn't sleep because i was having a hard time breathing while facing my favorite side of the bed. woke up at 6:45 am and crawled out of bed. sat in front of the computer wanting to finish an excel program that i created. i have a lot of motivation to complete this program because it means that i can do things better than a certain group of indian people... i'll just leave it at that.
as i started working, the allergies started to get worse. first it started with the sneezing, then the runny nose, followed by the itchy eyes. now, i'm not much of a medicine person if you have been following my posts, so i tend to steer away from any medication. but just for kicks, i wanted to try what benedryl can do, so i popped one in my mouth and continued working. i am expecting the pill to alleviate some of my allergy symptoms and make me drowsy, since i wanted to go back to bed anyways.
after an hour surely enough i was getting sleepy, so i headed straight back into bed where wifey was sleepy ever so soundly. i cuddled up to her to steal her body heat and passed out. 2 hours later, i woke up feeling light headed and a bit dazed. must have been the effects of the benedryl still coursing through my veins. wifey just got up by the time that i woke up again, she was on the computer checking her facebook and emails as usual. everything seemed fine, so we got up and got ready for lunch.
i'm not sure when, but sometime after lunch my eyes started to feel really itchy. so i scratched it hard with my hand and continued to scratch to alleviate the dreadful itchy feeling. then before i knew it, i felt my eyes watering up... and that's when i knew that i was in deep shit. almost in minutes my left eye swelled up like crazy and i could feel the discomfort in my eye with every blink. it feels like when you have an eyelash that is stuck in one of your eye and you know that it's there. you can feel it bothering your eye, but you can NEVER get rid of the eyelash. that's how i felt.
it's been 5 hours now. i have taken a 2 hour nap and been up for 3 hours trying to get over this damn irritating feeling; still haven't gone away. lesson of the day is: i fucking hate this shit damn allergy!!! and i guess don't scratch my eyes so hard -___-"
Saturday, May 30, 2009
|:: Birthday Hike ::|
today is my friend's belated birthday celebration. him and his wife invited a bunch of friends together to go on a hike at rattlesnake lake trail. of course there was no rattle snakes at the lake or on the trail, but the trail has got really great ratings from people who have hiked it.
wifey and i were a bit late getting to the meeting point, as usual, but when we got there, we found out that there was little or no phone reception. so getting a hold of the birthday boy and the rest of the people was a bit challenging. we waited at the parking lot for a bit, then decided to walk around to see if we were in the right parking lot, then walked some more to see if we could run into people we know.
luckily we were able to find my friend walking out to the front of the parking lot. apparently, there was another group of people who did not know where the meeting point was as well, so that made us feel a bit better. but after an hour or so of endless phone text messages, we found everyone and began the hike.
much different than the hike that wifey and i went to with our monkey brothers at lake serene, because this hike was a short but steep incline hike. it was only 2 miles long but we were to travel up 3300 feet in elevation. it was a tough hike in my opinion but quite good. we were all to busy trying to get up to the top quickly so we could take pictures and rest, that i didn't stop much to take pictures along the way.
it took us quite some time to make it up the hike. we had to stop a few times to rest up, as it was quite physically intensive. when we finally got up to the top of the hike, the view was beautiful as we were looking directly down at the lake from 3300 feet. the weather was beautiful and we could see the cascade mountains along with the roads and the trees surrounding rattlesnake lake. but it was also dangerous too because there was no restraints to prevent people from falling off the cliff. and boy was the fall deadly because it was straight down into sharp rocks and trees.
tired but excited we all got to the cliff edge to take pictures. i managed to take a lot of pictures from the top view as it was amazing. we sat around and talked for a bit, taking in the site that we were all seeing. the sun was glaring hot by the time we got up, and there were many other people who were there as well.
on the way up, as we were reaching the top of the cliff, we overheard some hikers talk about reporting some accident that happened to the search and rescue team. apparently a hiker fell off the cliff just minutes before we got up to the top. then when we were up at the top, we really did see a bunch of search and rescue people surveying the situation. i guess it was true, some poor person really did fall off the top and is no where to be found.
we began our hike back down and as we were walking we ran into more search and rescue rangers hiking up. as we reached the base of the trail we saw a whole team of search and rescue team along with the sheriff making plans for the search. we were too tired to care much at this point so we just headed back out of the park and saw a few people being turned away at the entrance because the trail was now closed off for the rescue. pretty heavy stuff.
i hope that the person is okay and that he/she is rescued safely.
wifey and i were a bit late getting to the meeting point, as usual, but when we got there, we found out that there was little or no phone reception. so getting a hold of the birthday boy and the rest of the people was a bit challenging. we waited at the parking lot for a bit, then decided to walk around to see if we were in the right parking lot, then walked some more to see if we could run into people we know.
luckily we were able to find my friend walking out to the front of the parking lot. apparently, there was another group of people who did not know where the meeting point was as well, so that made us feel a bit better. but after an hour or so of endless phone text messages, we found everyone and began the hike.
much different than the hike that wifey and i went to with our monkey brothers at lake serene, because this hike was a short but steep incline hike. it was only 2 miles long but we were to travel up 3300 feet in elevation. it was a tough hike in my opinion but quite good. we were all to busy trying to get up to the top quickly so we could take pictures and rest, that i didn't stop much to take pictures along the way.
it took us quite some time to make it up the hike. we had to stop a few times to rest up, as it was quite physically intensive. when we finally got up to the top of the hike, the view was beautiful as we were looking directly down at the lake from 3300 feet. the weather was beautiful and we could see the cascade mountains along with the roads and the trees surrounding rattlesnake lake. but it was also dangerous too because there was no restraints to prevent people from falling off the cliff. and boy was the fall deadly because it was straight down into sharp rocks and trees.
tired but excited we all got to the cliff edge to take pictures. i managed to take a lot of pictures from the top view as it was amazing. we sat around and talked for a bit, taking in the site that we were all seeing. the sun was glaring hot by the time we got up, and there were many other people who were there as well.
on the way up, as we were reaching the top of the cliff, we overheard some hikers talk about reporting some accident that happened to the search and rescue team. apparently a hiker fell off the cliff just minutes before we got up to the top. then when we were up at the top, we really did see a bunch of search and rescue people surveying the situation. i guess it was true, some poor person really did fall off the top and is no where to be found.
we began our hike back down and as we were walking we ran into more search and rescue rangers hiking up. as we reached the base of the trail we saw a whole team of search and rescue team along with the sheriff making plans for the search. we were too tired to care much at this point so we just headed back out of the park and saw a few people being turned away at the entrance because the trail was now closed off for the rescue. pretty heavy stuff.
i hope that the person is okay and that he/she is rescued safely.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
|:: Project - Fix Mazda MPV - Part 2 ::|
tired and hungry, jon and i went back into the house for some food and more brainstorming. i jumped only to search more about what other people had to say about removing starters from mpv vans. there was this one post that talked about having to remove the power steering gearbox and the alternator to slide the starter off.
after some food and new motivation, we were back outside trying to get the darn thing off again. we followed the instructions carefully and with some luck got the power steering wheel off, then realized that we didn't have to take anything else off because there was a big enough gap for the starter to squeeze out. lo-and-behold, after some wiggling it just dropped into our greasy little hands like butter.
success!! now it was time to test the starter.
goal : test the starter
now our new goal was to test the starter. we wired the battery to the starter solenoid and proceed to test it. funny thing was, none of us really knew what or how the starter should react normally if there was no problems. so we just hooked it up and tried to see what it did. we played around with it for an hour or so plugging the battery cables into different prongs and saw what it did. after some investigation, we notices that one of the prongs from the solenoid wasn't sending power through the system. and after multiple test, it seemed that that was the cause of the problem, or at least that's what we thought.
so now we could have done one of two things, (1) take apart the solenoid and try to fix it, or (2) find someone who was selling one and buy it. being the cheapo that i am, i choose the first option to see how hard it was going to be to fix it. did some research online to see if anyone else has done it, and found a page that had some instruction on how to take the thing apart for cleaning. okay, so let's try it.... hmm needs to have a welder to burn off the chrome plates... okay that sounds not so bad. only until i tried to do it that it kicked it... yup, there is a specific reason why mechanics get paid a lot to do this, this is totally out of my league.
went onto craigslist to find a seller of the starter, and found one chinese guy who was selling it for 60 bucks. i called the guy and tried to haggle with him to get it for cheaper since i was willing to trade my broken starter thinking that he might be one of those guys who fixes these dang things. best i could get was 50 for the new working one. left with not much other choice, i had jon go buy the starter two days later.
friday came around and finally i had the new starter from jon, and was really anxious to put it in to see what how it works. this time no one was there to help me so i had to one man show it, luckily i remembered all the steps for taking the starter off... but not so luckily, i forgot where some of the bolts and screws go back on the car ?_?... that didn't stop me though.
got underneath and plugged all the wiring back into the new starter. before putting the whole thing back together, i went to test the starter by trying to start the car. immediately, i notice that the new work starter responded without trouble. i heard the loud clicking noise of the starter working, and knew that that was the root cause of our problem. so i went back and put everything back the way it was before we removed the starter, and after 1.5 hours later, everything was back to it's right place.
getting anxious, i jumped into the car after plugging the battery back in and gave it a whirl. presto!!! the engine starter and the car was functional again.
the project was a success!
after some food and new motivation, we were back outside trying to get the darn thing off again. we followed the instructions carefully and with some luck got the power steering wheel off, then realized that we didn't have to take anything else off because there was a big enough gap for the starter to squeeze out. lo-and-behold, after some wiggling it just dropped into our greasy little hands like butter.
success!! now it was time to test the starter.
goal : test the starter
now our new goal was to test the starter. we wired the battery to the starter solenoid and proceed to test it. funny thing was, none of us really knew what or how the starter should react normally if there was no problems. so we just hooked it up and tried to see what it did. we played around with it for an hour or so plugging the battery cables into different prongs and saw what it did. after some investigation, we notices that one of the prongs from the solenoid wasn't sending power through the system. and after multiple test, it seemed that that was the cause of the problem, or at least that's what we thought.
so now we could have done one of two things, (1) take apart the solenoid and try to fix it, or (2) find someone who was selling one and buy it. being the cheapo that i am, i choose the first option to see how hard it was going to be to fix it. did some research online to see if anyone else has done it, and found a page that had some instruction on how to take the thing apart for cleaning. okay, so let's try it.... hmm needs to have a welder to burn off the chrome plates... okay that sounds not so bad. only until i tried to do it that it kicked it... yup, there is a specific reason why mechanics get paid a lot to do this, this is totally out of my league.
went onto craigslist to find a seller of the starter, and found one chinese guy who was selling it for 60 bucks. i called the guy and tried to haggle with him to get it for cheaper since i was willing to trade my broken starter thinking that he might be one of those guys who fixes these dang things. best i could get was 50 for the new working one. left with not much other choice, i had jon go buy the starter two days later.
friday came around and finally i had the new starter from jon, and was really anxious to put it in to see what how it works. this time no one was there to help me so i had to one man show it, luckily i remembered all the steps for taking the starter off... but not so luckily, i forgot where some of the bolts and screws go back on the car ?_?... that didn't stop me though.
got underneath and plugged all the wiring back into the new starter. before putting the whole thing back together, i went to test the starter by trying to start the car. immediately, i notice that the new work starter responded without trouble. i heard the loud clicking noise of the starter working, and knew that that was the root cause of our problem. so i went back and put everything back the way it was before we removed the starter, and after 1.5 hours later, everything was back to it's right place.
getting anxious, i jumped into the car after plugging the battery back in and gave it a whirl. presto!!! the engine starter and the car was functional again.
the project was a success!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
|:: Friday - Last Work Day ::|
my last work day is drawing near, and i don't have any plans lined up for work. let's be honest, i'm a bit worried about not having any work, and not getting any new skills. the last 2 years have been less than helpful in terms of career growth. dang... i haven't even updated my resume yet let alone start looking for jobs. really should get on it, but so dang lazy.
my manager tried to pull a fast one on me this week after i told him that my last day was at the end of the week. granted i didn't give him 2 weeks notice or anything, but if the company has the rights to fire me at any given point in time, then it is only logical that the same right would apply for the employee. i'm just merely exercising my rights. but that's the not point.
last week, after i told my manager and our engagement manager that i was going to be done as of this friday, they asked me if i could stay for one additional week, so that i could help the new guy transition into my job. i didn't promise them that i would agree to this arrangement, but said that i would need some time to discuss things with wifey, which was just basically buying time to say no. since monday was a holiday, it was only fair that i got back to them about my decision to stay longer or not on tuesday.
today [tuesday] when my manager, let's call him dildo for short since im lazy, i mean dildo came over to my building to "talk" with me about extending my stay. he called me in the morning and i asked him what how this would work if hr has confirmed that my last day is this friday, but dildo and company are asking me to stay a week longer. i asked dildo if this meant that i would be working for no pay, or would i be compensated for my time. he said that he would work something out... somehow i really didn't believe him, he's fucked me over before once with those words and never followed up.
he shows up at my desk and starts the conversation with, "so i told everyone that you could stay for an extra week." then proceeded to show me how to submit a request in our useless company intranet to have hr look at the request. now... i've worked with this hr request system many times before and know for damn sure that it takes them at least 4 days to reply to the request, let alone work the issue. so immediately, i had doubts about this whole thing... but dildo didn't even let me talk, he talked about how to submit the request and said, "okay now?" and before i could answer, his phone ran and he left my cubicle.
sitting dumbfounded, i closed the request window and was sure that i was not going to stay that extra week; i know they will not pay me for it. 1 hour later, after his mysterious phone call, dildo comes back and i demanded to have a quick chat. we sat down and i laid it on him, telling him that he can't go around telling the clients that i committed to an additional week when i didn't. then i firmly said that i was not going to stay the extra week and so he needs to do what he needs to do; but i'm done.
to make a long story short, i firmly kept my word that i would not stay that extra week. dildo looked so troubled and upset that he could not look at me eye to eye, of course i didn't give a damn at that point. they screwed me over so many times now, it's only fair for me to screw them over royally this one time. after the long ass 1.5 hour meeting, i only had 30 minutes left before going home, so i went back to my desk to surf the internet. then i went home happily. =)
my manager tried to pull a fast one on me this week after i told him that my last day was at the end of the week. granted i didn't give him 2 weeks notice or anything, but if the company has the rights to fire me at any given point in time, then it is only logical that the same right would apply for the employee. i'm just merely exercising my rights. but that's the not point.
last week, after i told my manager and our engagement manager that i was going to be done as of this friday, they asked me if i could stay for one additional week, so that i could help the new guy transition into my job. i didn't promise them that i would agree to this arrangement, but said that i would need some time to discuss things with wifey, which was just basically buying time to say no. since monday was a holiday, it was only fair that i got back to them about my decision to stay longer or not on tuesday.
today [tuesday] when my manager, let's call him dildo for short since im lazy, i mean dildo came over to my building to "talk" with me about extending my stay. he called me in the morning and i asked him what how this would work if hr has confirmed that my last day is this friday, but dildo and company are asking me to stay a week longer. i asked dildo if this meant that i would be working for no pay, or would i be compensated for my time. he said that he would work something out... somehow i really didn't believe him, he's fucked me over before once with those words and never followed up.
he shows up at my desk and starts the conversation with, "so i told everyone that you could stay for an extra week." then proceeded to show me how to submit a request in our useless company intranet to have hr look at the request. now... i've worked with this hr request system many times before and know for damn sure that it takes them at least 4 days to reply to the request, let alone work the issue. so immediately, i had doubts about this whole thing... but dildo didn't even let me talk, he talked about how to submit the request and said, "okay now?" and before i could answer, his phone ran and he left my cubicle.
sitting dumbfounded, i closed the request window and was sure that i was not going to stay that extra week; i know they will not pay me for it. 1 hour later, after his mysterious phone call, dildo comes back and i demanded to have a quick chat. we sat down and i laid it on him, telling him that he can't go around telling the clients that i committed to an additional week when i didn't. then i firmly said that i was not going to stay the extra week and so he needs to do what he needs to do; but i'm done.
to make a long story short, i firmly kept my word that i would not stay that extra week. dildo looked so troubled and upset that he could not look at me eye to eye, of course i didn't give a damn at that point. they screwed me over so many times now, it's only fair for me to screw them over royally this one time. after the long ass 1.5 hour meeting, i only had 30 minutes left before going home, so i went back to my desk to surf the internet. then i went home happily. =)
|:: Project - Fix Mazda MPV - Part 1 ::|
my dad and mom left for vietnam to visit family and deal with family affairs. they left my brother and i at the house along with my dad's crap load of cars. he has the most cars under his name than anyone in our household. i have my civic, my brother has his del sol, my mom has her corolla, and my dad had a sedan benz, a suv benz, and a mazda mpv van. and they are all sitting in the backyard collecting dust till my parents come home.
of the three cars that my dad is hording, the mazda mpv is not working. when we try to start it using the key, there is no response; the car lies lifeless. so after he left, i was left with the task of fixing the darn thing, but problem is, i don't know a thing about fixing cars... yet. since i am always up to learn something new, i wanted to really tackle this problem.
i called over my brother's friend, jon, to help me with the project. the goal is to fix the mpv so that it runs again. so this post is dedicated to the fixing of the mpv and the things that we tried. i will try to update this post whenever we work on the mpv until we get it working again... hopefully. (although i found a craigslist posting for a similar mpv for only 30,000 pennies... i mean $300.)
to begin the project, here is what we knew:
1) the battery is not the problem because we just replaced it with a new one
2) the car ran before and had problems starting long before the break down
3) it's not the alternator's problem also because that was replaced along with the battery
4) when we tried to start the car, there is a hissing noise and nothing else
chapter 1 : hypothesis - the starter is broken
goal : remove the starter unit and examine it
alright the goal is pretty straight forward, get the starter off the car and test it to see if it is broken. after doing some quick research about where the starter is on the mpv, we found that it was only accessible from the bottom of the car. which meant we had to jack the car up on stands so that we could work on the bottom to get the part out. sounds easy? well it's NOT! it took 2 guys pushing from the back of the car using a lot of momentum, plus 1 guy from the front to balance out the power so that the car wouldn't run over the stands and ultimately come crashing down. after a good 45 minutes... we crashed the car on the stands once, got scared, swore a lot, looked at each other, and then tried again. second time's the charm!
now that the stupid thing was on the two stands, it was time to get underneath and see what kind of beast we were dealing with. we busted out our trusty guide book which showed up where the starter was located and how to take it apart, of course the book was pretty much useless on instructing us on the process... but it did show us where relatively the part was. instruction said, take apart the three bolts that was holding the starter to the engine block. sounds simple? yeah it was, but then the fucking part had no way of coming out from under the car. the damn thing was entrapped in by the stupid frame of the car from underneath, and from the top... don't even think about it because you won't even be able to see the damn thing.
there was all but two wholes that were deceivingly small so no matter how we struggled with the darn thing, it was not coming out. okay, that was a good hour of time gone. now what? maybe if we take apart the metal casing that was hiding all the parts under the frame? yeah!!! that might work; let's do it... great idea, except the 4 bolts that was securing the casing was torqued on so tightly that i almost pee-ed my pants trying to unbolt it. but, after another 15 minutes and enough cursing to turn a saint into a devil... we got the bolts loosened. alright, now we're rocking! that's what we thought... after removing all the crazy bolts, we yanked the casing only to find that it was securely wrapped around the axle of the front wheel, good god! that was a big waste of time.
to be continued...
of the three cars that my dad is hording, the mazda mpv is not working. when we try to start it using the key, there is no response; the car lies lifeless. so after he left, i was left with the task of fixing the darn thing, but problem is, i don't know a thing about fixing cars... yet. since i am always up to learn something new, i wanted to really tackle this problem.
i called over my brother's friend, jon, to help me with the project. the goal is to fix the mpv so that it runs again. so this post is dedicated to the fixing of the mpv and the things that we tried. i will try to update this post whenever we work on the mpv until we get it working again... hopefully. (although i found a craigslist posting for a similar mpv for only 30,000 pennies... i mean $300.)
to begin the project, here is what we knew:
1) the battery is not the problem because we just replaced it with a new one
2) the car ran before and had problems starting long before the break down
3) it's not the alternator's problem also because that was replaced along with the battery
4) when we tried to start the car, there is a hissing noise and nothing else
chapter 1 : hypothesis - the starter is broken
goal : remove the starter unit and examine it
alright the goal is pretty straight forward, get the starter off the car and test it to see if it is broken. after doing some quick research about where the starter is on the mpv, we found that it was only accessible from the bottom of the car. which meant we had to jack the car up on stands so that we could work on the bottom to get the part out. sounds easy? well it's NOT! it took 2 guys pushing from the back of the car using a lot of momentum, plus 1 guy from the front to balance out the power so that the car wouldn't run over the stands and ultimately come crashing down. after a good 45 minutes... we crashed the car on the stands once, got scared, swore a lot, looked at each other, and then tried again. second time's the charm!
now that the stupid thing was on the two stands, it was time to get underneath and see what kind of beast we were dealing with. we busted out our trusty guide book which showed up where the starter was located and how to take it apart, of course the book was pretty much useless on instructing us on the process... but it did show us where relatively the part was. instruction said, take apart the three bolts that was holding the starter to the engine block. sounds simple? yeah it was, but then the fucking part had no way of coming out from under the car. the damn thing was entrapped in by the stupid frame of the car from underneath, and from the top... don't even think about it because you won't even be able to see the damn thing.
there was all but two wholes that were deceivingly small so no matter how we struggled with the darn thing, it was not coming out. okay, that was a good hour of time gone. now what? maybe if we take apart the metal casing that was hiding all the parts under the frame? yeah!!! that might work; let's do it... great idea, except the 4 bolts that was securing the casing was torqued on so tightly that i almost pee-ed my pants trying to unbolt it. but, after another 15 minutes and enough cursing to turn a saint into a devil... we got the bolts loosened. alright, now we're rocking! that's what we thought... after removing all the crazy bolts, we yanked the casing only to find that it was securely wrapped around the axle of the front wheel, good god! that was a big waste of time.
to be continued...
Monday, May 25, 2009
|:: We Are Growing Weaker ::|
when i was young my uncle would force me to go to to church every sunday. he would threaten and yell at me to go. the church people were really nice, but i felt that they were a bit close minded to ideas. because the priest of church was chinese, he gave the sermons in mandarin, and i couldn't understand what he was saying, so they made me go to bible study. i remember being that age and full of questions about life, death, religion, pain, suffering, heaven, and hell. i would ask all these questions and would always get a half answer which usually ended up becoming "you just have to have faith" answer. so unsatisfying...
later as i grew up, i began to learn about science and about evolution and darwinism. i truly felt that it made much more sense than just the simple fact that god created everything and then we were here. at least i can see evolution around us, specially in the micro organism level like bacterias and viruses. i became a believer of evolution and natural selection. all of which brings me to the point that, we as a human species is getting weaker.
the world is changing so fast because of so many factors but one of them must because the existence of humans. we have done so much to the world in the last 40 year than any other creature in the last hundred thousand years. with our massive energy consumption, and huge resources waste, we have caused all of this change in the world. and we have also brought more plague and disease into this world because of what we do.
but we humans are not able to evolve fast enough to keep up with the rate of change. why? because we have become so dependent on technology and modern medicine to do everything for us, that over the century we have grown weak against the forces of nature. in the past, natural selection would really weed out all the weak genetic traits and ensure that the strong remained. because of that humans kept on evolving with nature to counter any disease or change. natural selection keeps us evolving with time and keeping only the strong that can survive.
now we have all this medicine crap that is suppose to help us, but is actually doing more damage than help. the cold harsh truth of reality is (you don't have to agree with me if you don't want to about this) that the weak should not be allowed to survive. weak people who have poor genetic traits should get weeded out of the selection process, meaning they shouldn't be allowed to pass on their inferior genes on to the next generation. because this is no longer the case since we have technology and medicine to help these weaker people, we are screwing up natural selection!
and now as we can see, nature is changing at an alarming rate to try to keep up with the changes that we place on the planet, but one species is not conforming to the change; humans. we continue to eat up the world of its natural resources to develop stronger and stronger drugs that will prolong life. where in reality we are actually weakening ourselves and eventually we will run into or develop a disease that will be so strong that our bodies simply won't be able to fight. and we will all be in trouble. in fact it already exists, one of them is called AIDS and it's friend cancer.
i wonder if these diseases would have been so fatal if we didn't have all of this medicine and just let natural selection take its course?
later as i grew up, i began to learn about science and about evolution and darwinism. i truly felt that it made much more sense than just the simple fact that god created everything and then we were here. at least i can see evolution around us, specially in the micro organism level like bacterias and viruses. i became a believer of evolution and natural selection. all of which brings me to the point that, we as a human species is getting weaker.
the world is changing so fast because of so many factors but one of them must because the existence of humans. we have done so much to the world in the last 40 year than any other creature in the last hundred thousand years. with our massive energy consumption, and huge resources waste, we have caused all of this change in the world. and we have also brought more plague and disease into this world because of what we do.
but we humans are not able to evolve fast enough to keep up with the rate of change. why? because we have become so dependent on technology and modern medicine to do everything for us, that over the century we have grown weak against the forces of nature. in the past, natural selection would really weed out all the weak genetic traits and ensure that the strong remained. because of that humans kept on evolving with nature to counter any disease or change. natural selection keeps us evolving with time and keeping only the strong that can survive.
now we have all this medicine crap that is suppose to help us, but is actually doing more damage than help. the cold harsh truth of reality is (you don't have to agree with me if you don't want to about this) that the weak should not be allowed to survive. weak people who have poor genetic traits should get weeded out of the selection process, meaning they shouldn't be allowed to pass on their inferior genes on to the next generation. because this is no longer the case since we have technology and medicine to help these weaker people, we are screwing up natural selection!
and now as we can see, nature is changing at an alarming rate to try to keep up with the changes that we place on the planet, but one species is not conforming to the change; humans. we continue to eat up the world of its natural resources to develop stronger and stronger drugs that will prolong life. where in reality we are actually weakening ourselves and eventually we will run into or develop a disease that will be so strong that our bodies simply won't be able to fight. and we will all be in trouble. in fact it already exists, one of them is called AIDS and it's friend cancer.
i wonder if these diseases would have been so fatal if we didn't have all of this medicine and just let natural selection take its course?
|:: I Hate Allergies ::|
so my last post was about how my allergies are here again... and how it is really messing up my life. well, i need to vent about it again just to emphasize on how shitty it is.
it feels almost like i can't go anywhere because everywhere is polluted with pollen. the moment i get into the house, in my room, i start sniffing and sneezing. on top of that, one of my nose blocks up and i am left struggling for air. this continues for the whole night or day or whatever! it just goes on and on and feels like it never will end. and it really kills my sleep because i can't breath correctly so i wake up from time to time to try to clear my sinus.
fucking hell! this is just the beginning of the season too, i can't imagine what it will be like when summer really gets here. last year was really bad; just thinking about it makes me mad. summer time last year i couldn't even go outside because my eyes would get so itchy and watery that it would swell up and fill up with tears. i couldn't stop myself from tearing up and looking like a freak. the worst part of it was if i rubbed my eyes at all, it only amplifies the allergy even more which takes even longer to recover.
i hope that this year will not be the same, else i will die. wifey and i will go and get an air purifier at fred meyers today to see if it will help; i need my sleep back!
it feels almost like i can't go anywhere because everywhere is polluted with pollen. the moment i get into the house, in my room, i start sniffing and sneezing. on top of that, one of my nose blocks up and i am left struggling for air. this continues for the whole night or day or whatever! it just goes on and on and feels like it never will end. and it really kills my sleep because i can't breath correctly so i wake up from time to time to try to clear my sinus.
fucking hell! this is just the beginning of the season too, i can't imagine what it will be like when summer really gets here. last year was really bad; just thinking about it makes me mad. summer time last year i couldn't even go outside because my eyes would get so itchy and watery that it would swell up and fill up with tears. i couldn't stop myself from tearing up and looking like a freak. the worst part of it was if i rubbed my eyes at all, it only amplifies the allergy even more which takes even longer to recover.
i hope that this year will not be the same, else i will die. wifey and i will go and get an air purifier at fred meyers today to see if it will help; i need my sleep back!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
|:: Stupid Allergies ::|
i love it when spring and summer time comes. the sun is out, the days are longer, the weather is nicer, and the women are wearing sexy clothes. it's the best time to go out and do stuff, go to the beach, go to the park, to the lake, to hikes, to anywhere and anything; it's just a great time to be outside. but not for me.
no no no... spring time means death of allergy for me. it is the time when my eyes water up and my noses runs like water. it is the most annoying time because i sneeze so damn much when there is pollen in the air, which is all the time. i get so annoyed when i cant breath like a normal person and have to snort and snort just to stay alive. and on top of that, i feel so crazy when i cant control myself. most of the time, i want to chop off my nose just to stop the agony.
so today, while i was going to pick up our new car in maple valley, i had the windows rolled up with the vents closed. i turned up the air conditioning so that we wouldn't suffocate to death, but made sure that all the windows were closed so that i don't die from the trillions of plant sperm (pollen) floating in the air. i mean, holy shit, there was so many pollen on the road. because it was hitting the windows like cotton balls as it was hitting the car windshield. and you know what? i sneezed like a horse and i wanted to gouge my own eyes out because of the itchiness.
it was like this through out the whole one hour drive. but then... on the way back from maple valley i drove the cabrioloet home. i had both the driver and passenger windows rolled down, and i thought that i would be dying from it. but actually i didn't even sneeze once. the whole ride home was allergy-free. but the moment i walked into the house, all that allergy shit came rushing back like bad gas from a person who ate too much beans.
my stupid house is the real cause for the allergies. my brother has the same problem because he sneezes like there is no tomorrow in this damn house. and at night time, i cant sleep because i cant freaking breathe... urrg it is so annoying. that's it, this year i'm getting myself an air purifier, no more of this struggle!
no no no... spring time means death of allergy for me. it is the time when my eyes water up and my noses runs like water. it is the most annoying time because i sneeze so damn much when there is pollen in the air, which is all the time. i get so annoyed when i cant breath like a normal person and have to snort and snort just to stay alive. and on top of that, i feel so crazy when i cant control myself. most of the time, i want to chop off my nose just to stop the agony.
so today, while i was going to pick up our new car in maple valley, i had the windows rolled up with the vents closed. i turned up the air conditioning so that we wouldn't suffocate to death, but made sure that all the windows were closed so that i don't die from the trillions of plant sperm (pollen) floating in the air. i mean, holy shit, there was so many pollen on the road. because it was hitting the windows like cotton balls as it was hitting the car windshield. and you know what? i sneezed like a horse and i wanted to gouge my own eyes out because of the itchiness.
it was like this through out the whole one hour drive. but then... on the way back from maple valley i drove the cabrioloet home. i had both the driver and passenger windows rolled down, and i thought that i would be dying from it. but actually i didn't even sneeze once. the whole ride home was allergy-free. but the moment i walked into the house, all that allergy shit came rushing back like bad gas from a person who ate too much beans.
my stupid house is the real cause for the allergies. my brother has the same problem because he sneezes like there is no tomorrow in this damn house. and at night time, i cant sleep because i cant freaking breathe... urrg it is so annoying. that's it, this year i'm getting myself an air purifier, no more of this struggle!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
|:: 1988 VW Cabriolet Convertible ::|
a few days ago, i had a wild thought of buying a car to work on as a project car. i've had this thought for a good long time now, but could never really get down to doing it. it was always some excuse or reason for why it wasn't the right time to buy a car. (for those who might not know what a project car is, it is a car that is rebuilt as a side project.)
well no more excuses! as of today, i have bought a brand smacking new, old 1988 VW Cabriolet Convertible for $900. wifey and i have been searching online this whole week to find a car to buy to work on. we looked at the usual set of cars like honda del sol, honda civic, and other import cars. but we never thought of finding an old VW.
when we saw the online post for the first time, wifey told me that she really liked it. and when i looked at it, i thought that it was not that great. also the seller had posted a lot of pictures along with a detail description of all the defects, which i thought was very honest. he pointed out a lot of the faults that the car had and reasoned why he was posting the price for $1000. the car still runs, according to the post, and i thought that it was amazing that the thing still ran.
but the more i looked at the photos, i grew to like to more and more. and eventually i really liked the car because of the potential that it could have. the body and frame was really in tact and it was perfect because i could strip the car down and totally rebuild it from ground up. it was going to be an amazing project car.
i called the seller up to ask for a time to look at the car. wifey and i drove down to maple valley, which was an hour away from home, to take a look at it. when we got there we saw it and really like it. but the problem was someone was also looking at the car and was offering the seller $850. i didn't give him an offer at that time but told him that i was really interested. then i wanted to bring in a friend jon, i the project so that he could help me check if the car was worth the money.
so the folks who offered $850 was going to buy the car and they said that they would pick it up yesterday night. i messaged the seller telling him that i really like the car and if the buyers ended up flaking out on the deal, then i would take it for $900 flat. yesterday night, surely enough i got a message from the seller saying that the buyers came and tried to low ball him for $700. so he messaged me and asked if i was interested; of course i was!
today morning wifey, jon, and i went to inspect the car again. although it wasn't prefect, we were all really happy with teh car and i bought it! we signed all the paperwork and wasted no time in getting the car home. it is finally ours!!! my project car is here and now is where the fun begins.
well no more excuses! as of today, i have bought a brand smacking new, old 1988 VW Cabriolet Convertible for $900. wifey and i have been searching online this whole week to find a car to buy to work on. we looked at the usual set of cars like honda del sol, honda civic, and other import cars. but we never thought of finding an old VW.
when we saw the online post for the first time, wifey told me that she really liked it. and when i looked at it, i thought that it was not that great. also the seller had posted a lot of pictures along with a detail description of all the defects, which i thought was very honest. he pointed out a lot of the faults that the car had and reasoned why he was posting the price for $1000. the car still runs, according to the post, and i thought that it was amazing that the thing still ran.
but the more i looked at the photos, i grew to like to more and more. and eventually i really liked the car because of the potential that it could have. the body and frame was really in tact and it was perfect because i could strip the car down and totally rebuild it from ground up. it was going to be an amazing project car.
i called the seller up to ask for a time to look at the car. wifey and i drove down to maple valley, which was an hour away from home, to take a look at it. when we got there we saw it and really like it. but the problem was someone was also looking at the car and was offering the seller $850. i didn't give him an offer at that time but told him that i was really interested. then i wanted to bring in a friend jon, i the project so that he could help me check if the car was worth the money.
so the folks who offered $850 was going to buy the car and they said that they would pick it up yesterday night. i messaged the seller telling him that i really like the car and if the buyers ended up flaking out on the deal, then i would take it for $900 flat. yesterday night, surely enough i got a message from the seller saying that the buyers came and tried to low ball him for $700. so he messaged me and asked if i was interested; of course i was!
today morning wifey, jon, and i went to inspect the car again. although it wasn't prefect, we were all really happy with teh car and i bought it! we signed all the paperwork and wasted no time in getting the car home. it is finally ours!!! my project car is here and now is where the fun begins.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
|:: Resignation, It's Official ::|
as of yesterday morning, i officially submitted my resignation from work. it was a tense and epic moment as my coworker and friend, andrew, stood around to witness the doom of our application. as i clicked the submit button, i had all but one doubt... now what am i going to do for money?
it was a good 3 months of indecisiveness that lead up to this event. i wanted to leave a long time ago, when i realized that i wasn't going to get the experience that i needed to move my career to the next step. i loved my work, but just hated everything else around it. though there were some moments where it felt good to be working on the project, majority of the time it was negative feelings.
the best part was the feeling of freedom that came when i finally convinced myself that this was the last straw; i'm done with this job! it was so liberating, as if i had forgotten the feeling from long ago.
the worst parts about quitting was the feeling that i was abandoning all the boeing people who had so much faith in our application. and to all the many many boeing people who never heard about it before and were really happy that we developed something that would save them so much time. and specially all the amazing package expeditors whom i had the esteem pleasure of working with. i will miss them dearly.
i've only told 3 people about me leaving the job, and though they were all very happy for me to move on to find my greater passion, they were were so sad. one of them took it quite hard and i could see that she had a sense of lost motivation when she heard my words. i feel so sad to break the news to hear, but there was nothing that could be done. i'm hoping that everyone will be alright after i leave and at the same time, i hope that things don't get crazy for andrew, who most likely will have to take over for me.
it was a good 3 months of indecisiveness that lead up to this event. i wanted to leave a long time ago, when i realized that i wasn't going to get the experience that i needed to move my career to the next step. i loved my work, but just hated everything else around it. though there were some moments where it felt good to be working on the project, majority of the time it was negative feelings.
the best part was the feeling of freedom that came when i finally convinced myself that this was the last straw; i'm done with this job! it was so liberating, as if i had forgotten the feeling from long ago.
the worst parts about quitting was the feeling that i was abandoning all the boeing people who had so much faith in our application. and to all the many many boeing people who never heard about it before and were really happy that we developed something that would save them so much time. and specially all the amazing package expeditors whom i had the esteem pleasure of working with. i will miss them dearly.
i've only told 3 people about me leaving the job, and though they were all very happy for me to move on to find my greater passion, they were were so sad. one of them took it quite hard and i could see that she had a sense of lost motivation when she heard my words. i feel so sad to break the news to hear, but there was nothing that could be done. i'm hoping that everyone will be alright after i leave and at the same time, i hope that things don't get crazy for andrew, who most likely will have to take over for me.
Friday, May 15, 2009
|:: The Day I Called In Sick ::|
yesterday, on thrusday, i was suppose to have a 6:30 am meeting with a manager at boeing to discuss about future plans for the application that my team is supporting. i got the meeting notice on wednesday evening at 4:20 pm when i was about to leave the office, which was so uncool. so i set my alarm for 5:30 am to wake up and get ready to attend the stupid meeting. but when i woke up, i got the laziest feeling to just skip work.
after spending 5 minutes debating to myself whether or not i should go to work, which ended up taking more like 15 minutes, i finally decided that i'd call in sick. so i grab my phone and called my partner who was so damn adamant that he be apart of the meeting, the day before. he actually got a bit offended when the client asked for me to attend and didn't include him on the email list.
when i called him, he picked up and i could tell that he was still sleeping. and before i could ask him if he was attending the meeting, so that i didn't have to attend, he immediate said that he wasn't going to attend because he didn't know where the meeting location was... so i told him that i was sick and couldn't make it to the meeting, and he just said "fine." he didn't even care, i wasn't the least big surprised. finally, i called a friend to cover me so that i can take the day off.
wow, let me tell you, that day off was one of the best days ever! it was like a mini-vacation and had some amazing therapeutic effect. everything, or at least it seemed, happened so rightly, it was almost perfect. simply an awesome day!
after the phone calls, i crawled back into bed next to wifey and passed out for the next 6 hours. oh god the extra hours of piggying out was so good. not only that, but i had a sweet dream where i had a super power of some sort, don't really remember what i was but it filled me with this amazingly joyous feeling of happiness; the same feeling as the first day your parents brought you to the toy store, and you could pick out whatever you wanted. yeah, it was that good!
when i finally decided to open my refreshed eyes, it was 12 noon and was perfect time for lunch. i (after much much struggle) managed to wake wifey up and got her to start getting ready so we can head out to lunch. i was suppose to drive down to my company's main office so i can tell them to dis-allocate my laptop so that i won't be held responsible for it anymore. but while wifey was getting ready i called them and they said that they could take care of it without me driving all the way down there; sweet! now wifey and i had way more time to go to our favorite sushi restaurant and pig out on their so call "edible art" fusion sushi; delicious!
that was just the beginning of the day. the rest of it was just as spectacular, and after it all i felt so close to wifey. spending the whole day with her doing the things that young love-birds do; so many smiles and so much laughter. by far one of the best days for me to skip work.
after spending 5 minutes debating to myself whether or not i should go to work, which ended up taking more like 15 minutes, i finally decided that i'd call in sick. so i grab my phone and called my partner who was so damn adamant that he be apart of the meeting, the day before. he actually got a bit offended when the client asked for me to attend and didn't include him on the email list.
when i called him, he picked up and i could tell that he was still sleeping. and before i could ask him if he was attending the meeting, so that i didn't have to attend, he immediate said that he wasn't going to attend because he didn't know where the meeting location was... so i told him that i was sick and couldn't make it to the meeting, and he just said "fine." he didn't even care, i wasn't the least big surprised. finally, i called a friend to cover me so that i can take the day off.
wow, let me tell you, that day off was one of the best days ever! it was like a mini-vacation and had some amazing therapeutic effect. everything, or at least it seemed, happened so rightly, it was almost perfect. simply an awesome day!
after the phone calls, i crawled back into bed next to wifey and passed out for the next 6 hours. oh god the extra hours of piggying out was so good. not only that, but i had a sweet dream where i had a super power of some sort, don't really remember what i was but it filled me with this amazingly joyous feeling of happiness; the same feeling as the first day your parents brought you to the toy store, and you could pick out whatever you wanted. yeah, it was that good!
when i finally decided to open my refreshed eyes, it was 12 noon and was perfect time for lunch. i (after much much struggle) managed to wake wifey up and got her to start getting ready so we can head out to lunch. i was suppose to drive down to my company's main office so i can tell them to dis-allocate my laptop so that i won't be held responsible for it anymore. but while wifey was getting ready i called them and they said that they could take care of it without me driving all the way down there; sweet! now wifey and i had way more time to go to our favorite sushi restaurant and pig out on their so call "edible art" fusion sushi; delicious!
that was just the beginning of the day. the rest of it was just as spectacular, and after it all i felt so close to wifey. spending the whole day with her doing the things that young love-birds do; so many smiles and so much laughter. by far one of the best days for me to skip work.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
|:: My Top 5 Life Goals ::|
i've been thinking a lot about my goals and what i want to achieve in life. i'm putting this list of 5 top life goals so that i can write it all down and track it whenever i find myself lost and don't really know what i am doing. so here we go...
(1) i want to travel and see the world.
places i want to go to are: hawaii, singapore, thailand, japan, brazil, eastern europe (for wifey's sake), hong kong, austraila, mexico (yes even there despite the piggy flu), egypt, china, and korea. this is just the initial places that i want to see, there are way more once i get these done.
(2) i want to start and run my own business
haven't really had a solid concept yet that i truly feel passionate about converting into a business, but i know that someday i will find a small venture that is fitting of my skills. and when that happens, i want to start a business and run it successfully. then after that, i want to be able to hand it off to employees that i hire to run, and i would manage the business with wifey.
(3) i want to buy a house and have kids
well, this one is more like 2 goals in one, but they almost always go hand in hand, so i'll consider it as one. but i want to buy a house somewhere warm with lots of sunlight, because i am a vitamin d junkie. a place that is safe and the cost of living is low, where there is a good amount of people and city life, and with a strong asian community. i want my kids to grow up diversified.
i want 2 kids, 1 boy and 1 girl. of course i really can't choose since it's all chance anyways, but i can damn well dream.
(4) i want to buy a sweet ass motorcycle.
i either want the yamaha r6, or the suzuki r600, or the honda cbr. soooooooo juicy! writing about it makes me want to get it... right now!
(5) i want to master everything that i am interested in. right now, there are a few skills that i really want to be good at, and this goal takes that to the limit by me mastering all the skills. i want to master excel, photoshop, gardening, fixing cars, web designing, software development, and love making. yup that's right love making; i'm not saying that i have problems because i'm damn right amazing at it. but that's not the same as being a MASTER at it, if you know what i mean.
alright so these are my top 5 life goals so far. i'm sure as time change i'll reach closer to each one of them and even achieve some of them in the near future. when that happens new ones will come up and i keep working for the next set of goals.
(1) i want to travel and see the world.
places i want to go to are: hawaii, singapore, thailand, japan, brazil, eastern europe (for wifey's sake), hong kong, austraila, mexico (yes even there despite the piggy flu), egypt, china, and korea. this is just the initial places that i want to see, there are way more once i get these done.
(2) i want to start and run my own business
haven't really had a solid concept yet that i truly feel passionate about converting into a business, but i know that someday i will find a small venture that is fitting of my skills. and when that happens, i want to start a business and run it successfully. then after that, i want to be able to hand it off to employees that i hire to run, and i would manage the business with wifey.
(3) i want to buy a house and have kids
well, this one is more like 2 goals in one, but they almost always go hand in hand, so i'll consider it as one. but i want to buy a house somewhere warm with lots of sunlight, because i am a vitamin d junkie. a place that is safe and the cost of living is low, where there is a good amount of people and city life, and with a strong asian community. i want my kids to grow up diversified.
i want 2 kids, 1 boy and 1 girl. of course i really can't choose since it's all chance anyways, but i can damn well dream.
(4) i want to buy a sweet ass motorcycle.
i either want the yamaha r6, or the suzuki r600, or the honda cbr. soooooooo juicy! writing about it makes me want to get it... right now!
(5) i want to master everything that i am interested in. right now, there are a few skills that i really want to be good at, and this goal takes that to the limit by me mastering all the skills. i want to master excel, photoshop, gardening, fixing cars, web designing, software development, and love making. yup that's right love making; i'm not saying that i have problems because i'm damn right amazing at it. but that's not the same as being a MASTER at it, if you know what i mean.
alright so these are my top 5 life goals so far. i'm sure as time change i'll reach closer to each one of them and even achieve some of them in the near future. when that happens new ones will come up and i keep working for the next set of goals.
|:: Nightly Showers of Kisses ::|
i wake up for work everyday at 7:00 am, which isn't that early compared to a lot of other early bird people, but it is pretty early for me. so that i look like a zombie each day, i usually hit the sack at around 11 or 12 am... or even earlier depending on how old i feel that day. wifey on the other hand doesn't have this limitation; she can sleep whenever she wants and wake up whenever she wants.
typically, i would be the old fart that i am and pass out around 12. but wifey is still wide awake with nothing to do. although she tries to go to sleep at the same time as me, she just can't; either she's had too much sleep the morning before or she is just too use to not sleeping at that time. whatever the reason may be, she ends up spending her time on the bed watching korean/japanese/hong kong drama. and she usually watches this till pretty early in the morning, maybe 3 or 4 am, i don't really know because i'm way passed out by then.
on occasions, i would assume that the drama gets pretty sappy and emotions go flaring in wifey. at which point she has the spurge to hug me and kiss me sporadically, while telling me in my half sleep state, that she really appreciates me and loves me so very much.
now don't get me wrong, i love to be pampered like this, i mean who wouldn't right? right! but the thing is the timing... you see i'm not very responsive when i am half asleep and half awake. so instead of taking all this love in and reciprocating it back, all i can do is give her a goofy ass smile that says "yeah woooh that's great" and "omg i'm so tired i can't open my freakin eyes". and i know it's a goofy ass smile too because i can remember the face that i was making the next morning when i wake up fully and realize, what the heck was i thinking.
and on top of the silly smile, i try my best to mutter some response to acknowledge that i am listening and understanding what wifey is say, which most of the time i don't. and my brain can't think as fast so it just tries to latch on to a single phrase that is somewhat mutual and safe to respond with no matter what wifey says. so out of my half asleep world i mutter "yeah... love you so much too." or "i love you too honey" followed by a unconscious kiss to her arm.
then wifey would again shower me with more kisses and loving words, but usually i'd be way too out of energy to even give my goofy smile anymore. at which point, i instantly drift back into hibernation mode to try to salvage what little time i had left to sleep before the damn alarm, or roccio, wakes me up for work.
that's typically how my nights go. jealous? hahahahah
typically, i would be the old fart that i am and pass out around 12. but wifey is still wide awake with nothing to do. although she tries to go to sleep at the same time as me, she just can't; either she's had too much sleep the morning before or she is just too use to not sleeping at that time. whatever the reason may be, she ends up spending her time on the bed watching korean/japanese/hong kong drama. and she usually watches this till pretty early in the morning, maybe 3 or 4 am, i don't really know because i'm way passed out by then.
on occasions, i would assume that the drama gets pretty sappy and emotions go flaring in wifey. at which point she has the spurge to hug me and kiss me sporadically, while telling me in my half sleep state, that she really appreciates me and loves me so very much.
now don't get me wrong, i love to be pampered like this, i mean who wouldn't right? right! but the thing is the timing... you see i'm not very responsive when i am half asleep and half awake. so instead of taking all this love in and reciprocating it back, all i can do is give her a goofy ass smile that says "yeah woooh that's great" and "omg i'm so tired i can't open my freakin eyes". and i know it's a goofy ass smile too because i can remember the face that i was making the next morning when i wake up fully and realize, what the heck was i thinking.
and on top of the silly smile, i try my best to mutter some response to acknowledge that i am listening and understanding what wifey is say, which most of the time i don't. and my brain can't think as fast so it just tries to latch on to a single phrase that is somewhat mutual and safe to respond with no matter what wifey says. so out of my half asleep world i mutter "yeah... love you so much too." or "i love you too honey" followed by a unconscious kiss to her arm.
then wifey would again shower me with more kisses and loving words, but usually i'd be way too out of energy to even give my goofy smile anymore. at which point, i instantly drift back into hibernation mode to try to salvage what little time i had left to sleep before the damn alarm, or roccio, wakes me up for work.
that's typically how my nights go. jealous? hahahahah
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
|:: Points Finger at Self ::|
what does "point finger at self" mean? and why did i use this name as my blog. simple, because i always blame myself for everything.
i am someone who thinks way too much and internalize everything... as a result it always drives me to think that i am always at fault, that maybe i am always the one who is making the mistake and causing trouble. i don't think that i was always like this, at one point in my life i was actually pretty strong and had lots of courage. i think all of that changed when i moved over to the states with my family.
after we moved here, i didn't really see much of my parents. everyone was too occupied with work to pay attention to me. i can totally understand that under the circumstances, things had to happen the way that it did, and my parents had to make the choices that they did; i don't blame them. but because they were never around anymore and because i didn't have any friends, i started to lose confidence in myself.
on top of that, i was put into a foreign school that had foreign customs that i was not familiar with. i could not speak english and could not make any friends. i was the uncool foreign student who looked and talked funny. it was hard to get adjusted to, and for years i would continue to feel really left out. i became the kid that was on the outside always looking in as the kids on the inside were having so much fun together.
my confidence really took a beating and i started to internalize my own faults. i never really got use to the life style in the states, and to this day, i still feel that i am just a foreigner looking in. as the years went by, i was really starting to think that i was at the fault of the whole ordeal, and that maybe if i wasn't so this and that, that i would have more friends and would be living a much happier life. it was just me that was the problem, and there wasn't anything that i could do to change that... i began to accept that.
old habits are hard to break, and as an adult now with a wife and a life, i still internalize way too much. but i am working hard at slowly letting that go, to open up and share with my wife my thoughts and feelings. so that i don't bottle feelings up and end up hurting myself in the end. it's a tough thing to do and in no way can i change it quickly, but i am working at it and slowly but surely. maybe someday far in the future, i can stop pointing fingers at myself and finally be happy to accept who i am without all the faults.
someday.
i am someone who thinks way too much and internalize everything... as a result it always drives me to think that i am always at fault, that maybe i am always the one who is making the mistake and causing trouble. i don't think that i was always like this, at one point in my life i was actually pretty strong and had lots of courage. i think all of that changed when i moved over to the states with my family.
after we moved here, i didn't really see much of my parents. everyone was too occupied with work to pay attention to me. i can totally understand that under the circumstances, things had to happen the way that it did, and my parents had to make the choices that they did; i don't blame them. but because they were never around anymore and because i didn't have any friends, i started to lose confidence in myself.
on top of that, i was put into a foreign school that had foreign customs that i was not familiar with. i could not speak english and could not make any friends. i was the uncool foreign student who looked and talked funny. it was hard to get adjusted to, and for years i would continue to feel really left out. i became the kid that was on the outside always looking in as the kids on the inside were having so much fun together.
my confidence really took a beating and i started to internalize my own faults. i never really got use to the life style in the states, and to this day, i still feel that i am just a foreigner looking in. as the years went by, i was really starting to think that i was at the fault of the whole ordeal, and that maybe if i wasn't so this and that, that i would have more friends and would be living a much happier life. it was just me that was the problem, and there wasn't anything that i could do to change that... i began to accept that.
old habits are hard to break, and as an adult now with a wife and a life, i still internalize way too much. but i am working hard at slowly letting that go, to open up and share with my wife my thoughts and feelings. so that i don't bottle feelings up and end up hurting myself in the end. it's a tough thing to do and in no way can i change it quickly, but i am working at it and slowly but surely. maybe someday far in the future, i can stop pointing fingers at myself and finally be happy to accept who i am without all the faults.
someday.
|:: Wonderful Wife ::|
if you were to ask me what kind of person i would want to have as a wife, i would not be able to tell you. and to be completely honest, i still don't think that i can answer that question. but i do know one thing, i do have a great wife.
probably about one year ago, at this time, i would still be in india, in a city called mysore. it would be reaching near the end of wifey's stay in india and she would now have to leave to fly back to malaysia. but me on the other hand, i would have to stay in india for a bit longer before i too had to return to the states. this was perhaps one of the hardest moments for wifey and i, as we both didn't know what was to become of us once we parted ways.
i never thought that long distance relationships could work out, but i guess i just never found anyone worth waiting for. after meeting wifey and spending all those precious moments with her in india, the choice was much easier to make. and even if i knew what it would mean for us to stay together after we both left india, i was ready for that decision; i was ready to marry her.
after i got back to the states, i filed the paper for the petition to sponser wifey over. the process would take roughly 6 months or more, so we had to do it right away. and even during that time, we were still getting to know each other bit by bit. there was still a bit of doubt and uncertainty about what we were both getting into, i guess me more than her. but i didn't want to jump into marriage and then end up finding out that it was a mistake, i wanted to be more sure that this is what i really wanted.
so we waited for each other for the long 6 months. always using skype to talk to each other online. we had a set time for us to talk, and we would try to talk everyday. it was tough being long distance, and i never imagined it would as tough as it was. when times were good, things were fine, but when we got into arguements it would be so damaging. a few times, we were at the brinks of breaking up and calling the whole marriage off. it was the most challenging relationship i had ever been in, a true test to my character.
after everything that we both went through, boy i gotta say, it was all worth it. we are together now happily together. i can't believe that i was lucky enough to have found her, i really must have done something right in my past life to be this lucky. she is an amazing person, who always care and support me. someone who will try her best to do everything that makes me happy. she is always there to hug me and tell me that everything is going to be alright when i fall. she cooks, cleans, washes her clothes, and makes soft toys on the side.
so though i don't really know what a perfect wife is or what sort of person my wife should be. i just have this gut feeling that i made the absolute right choice back in india, and i am still blessed to this day. wifey, you will always be my wife, the only wife for me.
probably about one year ago, at this time, i would still be in india, in a city called mysore. it would be reaching near the end of wifey's stay in india and she would now have to leave to fly back to malaysia. but me on the other hand, i would have to stay in india for a bit longer before i too had to return to the states. this was perhaps one of the hardest moments for wifey and i, as we both didn't know what was to become of us once we parted ways.
i never thought that long distance relationships could work out, but i guess i just never found anyone worth waiting for. after meeting wifey and spending all those precious moments with her in india, the choice was much easier to make. and even if i knew what it would mean for us to stay together after we both left india, i was ready for that decision; i was ready to marry her.
after i got back to the states, i filed the paper for the petition to sponser wifey over. the process would take roughly 6 months or more, so we had to do it right away. and even during that time, we were still getting to know each other bit by bit. there was still a bit of doubt and uncertainty about what we were both getting into, i guess me more than her. but i didn't want to jump into marriage and then end up finding out that it was a mistake, i wanted to be more sure that this is what i really wanted.
so we waited for each other for the long 6 months. always using skype to talk to each other online. we had a set time for us to talk, and we would try to talk everyday. it was tough being long distance, and i never imagined it would as tough as it was. when times were good, things were fine, but when we got into arguements it would be so damaging. a few times, we were at the brinks of breaking up and calling the whole marriage off. it was the most challenging relationship i had ever been in, a true test to my character.
after everything that we both went through, boy i gotta say, it was all worth it. we are together now happily together. i can't believe that i was lucky enough to have found her, i really must have done something right in my past life to be this lucky. she is an amazing person, who always care and support me. someone who will try her best to do everything that makes me happy. she is always there to hug me and tell me that everything is going to be alright when i fall. she cooks, cleans, washes her clothes, and makes soft toys on the side.
so though i don't really know what a perfect wife is or what sort of person my wife should be. i just have this gut feeling that i made the absolute right choice back in india, and i am still blessed to this day. wifey, you will always be my wife, the only wife for me.
Monday, May 11, 2009
|:: Memories of Monday the 11th ::|
woke up today not wanting to go to work, no surprise there. i think i had some sort of nightmare, but didn't remember it too well; just that i woke up feeling a bit confused, like not knowing who to trust. then i see roccio (our dog) in the corner of my eye begging for food, so i pretend to close my eyes as to not see him. that's son of a bitch (literally) is so smart that he knows that i saw him, and continues begging while making this increasingly loud groaning noise.
so i wiggle out of the blanket to sit on the floor for a moment to refocus my eyes. 7:10... damn, probably going to be late again. went to get roccio's food from the other side of the room. dished him some kibbles in his bowl and placed it on the floor where he usually eats. then the idiot comes waltzing over lazily, looks at the food, and heads straight back into his cage to sleep! son of a... >O
took extra time to shower and think. had doubts about quitting work and how we are going to survive with no income for a while. really was tried to convince myself that quitting was a big mistake and that i should suck it up no matter how tough work was. then the logical reasoning kicked in and though it wasn't like a total change of mood, it did help reassure me that this was the right thing to do.
im such a fucking pansy when it comes to making life changing decisions like this...
so i wiggle out of the blanket to sit on the floor for a moment to refocus my eyes. 7:10... damn, probably going to be late again. went to get roccio's food from the other side of the room. dished him some kibbles in his bowl and placed it on the floor where he usually eats. then the idiot comes waltzing over lazily, looks at the food, and heads straight back into his cage to sleep! son of a... >O
took extra time to shower and think. had doubts about quitting work and how we are going to survive with no income for a while. really was tried to convince myself that quitting was a big mistake and that i should suck it up no matter how tough work was. then the logical reasoning kicked in and though it wasn't like a total change of mood, it did help reassure me that this was the right thing to do.
im such a fucking pansy when it comes to making life changing decisions like this...
|:: Doubts ::|
woke up today with a few doubts in my mind about work; about quitting and about how wifey and i will manage without income. again had worries about what do once i quit the job and no more income is there. and on top of that with the economy being the way that it is, makes me worry.
wifey keeps me strong and assures me of all the logical reasons for why this won't be so bad. we are both young and able, we are educated, we don't have house payments to pay for, and we don't have any kids. so we are as good as being free. and i know that it all sounds really logically and makes so much sense to quit, but i'm still worried...
had to take an extra long shower just to think things through. it was cold this morning in the room, but wifey was sleeping so soundly. i wanted to wake her up to talk to her but didn't have the heart to bring up the same issues over and over again.
wifey keeps me strong and assures me of all the logical reasons for why this won't be so bad. we are both young and able, we are educated, we don't have house payments to pay for, and we don't have any kids. so we are as good as being free. and i know that it all sounds really logically and makes so much sense to quit, but i'm still worried...
had to take an extra long shower just to think things through. it was cold this morning in the room, but wifey was sleeping so soundly. i wanted to wake her up to talk to her but didn't have the heart to bring up the same issues over and over again.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
|:: Where Should I Go? ::|
was thinking about what to do once i quit work. wifey wanted to go on road trips to LA, Vegas, and Charlett to visit some friends, which isn't a bad idea. but to be honest, i want to go somewhere warmer and were there are more asian people. closest place that comes to mind is malaysia.
funny thing is that i've only been there 5 times all and all since i met wifey. but somehow i feel so much more at home when i am there. i miss wifey's family and really the feeling of having a family that is together. family here, although we live together, we aren't at all together. closest person that i feel family with is my little brother. we have lots of differences in how we live our lives and our overall outlook of life, but despite everything, my brother and i are really close.
mom and dad on the other hand drift farther and farther apart from me. mom never was really there and is still not really here. always thinking about her work and making money, as if that was the only thing in the world. dad use to be cool and understanding, but not since i got married. i've been expressing myself to him more and more about who i am and what i do. guess he doesn't like it, because i am too expressive of my views. i think he realizes that i'm not as obedient as i was before when i was young.
so really, although i live here. i would rather be off somewhere else. i want to move somewhere nice where there is beaches around where the water is warm. a lively place where life is easy going, so i don't have to bust my ass to make a living. never understood that, why some people work so damn hard to make money but never get the time to enjoy it.
all and all, going back to malaysia would be so much fun! otherwise maybe we can visit brazil to go hangout with a friend from there, Vini. who knows, maybe i might not even be able to go anywhere since i am poor and have a wife to support. would be nice if i got lucky.
funny thing is that i've only been there 5 times all and all since i met wifey. but somehow i feel so much more at home when i am there. i miss wifey's family and really the feeling of having a family that is together. family here, although we live together, we aren't at all together. closest person that i feel family with is my little brother. we have lots of differences in how we live our lives and our overall outlook of life, but despite everything, my brother and i are really close.
mom and dad on the other hand drift farther and farther apart from me. mom never was really there and is still not really here. always thinking about her work and making money, as if that was the only thing in the world. dad use to be cool and understanding, but not since i got married. i've been expressing myself to him more and more about who i am and what i do. guess he doesn't like it, because i am too expressive of my views. i think he realizes that i'm not as obedient as i was before when i was young.
so really, although i live here. i would rather be off somewhere else. i want to move somewhere nice where there is beaches around where the water is warm. a lively place where life is easy going, so i don't have to bust my ass to make a living. never understood that, why some people work so damn hard to make money but never get the time to enjoy it.
all and all, going back to malaysia would be so much fun! otherwise maybe we can visit brazil to go hangout with a friend from there, Vini. who knows, maybe i might not even be able to go anywhere since i am poor and have a wife to support. would be nice if i got lucky.
|:: Nice Day of Doing Nothing ::|
woke up really early this morning... got woken up by roccio begging for food. he is doing that more and more these days in the morning when he knows that i wake up at that time to get ready for work. and if he doesn't get me to give him some food, he knows that he won't get any for the rest of the day, or until wifey wakes up.
7:20 AM, and i'm in bed staring at the ceiling. looked over at wifey who was sleeping so soundly and felt jealous. what had happen to me? i use to be able to be like that before too. forced myself to go back to sleep for a bit more thinking that i could somehow regain my sleeping stamina; nope, jolted to a wake at 8:30...
didn't have much to do, so i decided to wake up and go outside to do some study. i told myself that i would get around to starting my resume again today... but thought that the day was still really early so i'll just do whatever i want to do first. turned out, i had nothing to do... not surprising actually. sundays always start out like this.
have you ever sat in front of the computer and just stare at the google homepage? with the mouse pointed at the search box, but there is nothing there. trying hard to find something to serach up but nothing comes to mind? yeah that's what sundays are like for me. pretty nice day outside but i'm just sitting on the couch with nothing to do.
eventually, i called up a friend to go out to play some tennis. bad thing was that i forgot to, more like too lazy to, eat breakfast so i felt really sluggish on the court. it's nice talking to my friend and hitting the ball around. hopefully, i can get back into shape and play a real game next time.
7:20 AM, and i'm in bed staring at the ceiling. looked over at wifey who was sleeping so soundly and felt jealous. what had happen to me? i use to be able to be like that before too. forced myself to go back to sleep for a bit more thinking that i could somehow regain my sleeping stamina; nope, jolted to a wake at 8:30...
didn't have much to do, so i decided to wake up and go outside to do some study. i told myself that i would get around to starting my resume again today... but thought that the day was still really early so i'll just do whatever i want to do first. turned out, i had nothing to do... not surprising actually. sundays always start out like this.
have you ever sat in front of the computer and just stare at the google homepage? with the mouse pointed at the search box, but there is nothing there. trying hard to find something to serach up but nothing comes to mind? yeah that's what sundays are like for me. pretty nice day outside but i'm just sitting on the couch with nothing to do.
eventually, i called up a friend to go out to play some tennis. bad thing was that i forgot to, more like too lazy to, eat breakfast so i felt really sluggish on the court. it's nice talking to my friend and hitting the ball around. hopefully, i can get back into shape and play a real game next time.
|:: Ugly Work ::|
ah yes, the good old crazy topic of work. here's an overview about work:
it sucks!
ok and here's why. i'm still working for an indian company that doesn't know or care that i exist. i work for a shitty manager who also doesn't care or know that i exist. the damn guy only talks to me when his ass is on the line about something related to the project. and everytime he demands that i give him a complete overview of everything that has happened in the past month that he didn't talk to me. oh and of course it has to be in a "PPT" one page slide for his lazy ass to read.
then there is my partner who is suppose to be my lead to the project. right from the beginning when i met him, i sensed that he wasn't the right guy for the job. how? when he told me that the project was 80% complete and that all i was to do was deliever it to the client. and when he give me the application, the very first page crashed when i clicked "Go". shocked, i asked him stupidly if that was suppose to happen, and i get a bullshit answer about how offshore fucked it up; now it would take them 2 days to fix. my first impression...
really, i can go on and go for hours about how these two fucks have cause me a great deal of distress. but instead, im going to focus in on how i'm going to get out of the mess that i got myself into by joining this company.
yup, i'm going to do the only thing that makes sense... i'm going to quit!
now i know that the economy is bad and so many people are struggling to find work. but just thinking about working makes me feel angry and sick. i mean seriously, im here sitting on sunday and already i feel upset that tomorrow i will have to go back to work and face these damn bastards. it's really destroying my life.
after quitting, i want to take some time off and just do nothing for a month or so. of course i'll be looking for a new job all the while, and maybe will get lucky and find something good. i met up and had dinner with a friend and former coworker at boeing, tien and his girlfriend, on friday. he told me that he took lots of risks and moved around a lot when he was my age, and that in the end it worked out for him.
imma do the same thing! come end of the month i'm done with infoshit.
it sucks!
ok and here's why. i'm still working for an indian company that doesn't know or care that i exist. i work for a shitty manager who also doesn't care or know that i exist. the damn guy only talks to me when his ass is on the line about something related to the project. and everytime he demands that i give him a complete overview of everything that has happened in the past month that he didn't talk to me. oh and of course it has to be in a "PPT" one page slide for his lazy ass to read.
then there is my partner who is suppose to be my lead to the project. right from the beginning when i met him, i sensed that he wasn't the right guy for the job. how? when he told me that the project was 80% complete and that all i was to do was deliever it to the client. and when he give me the application, the very first page crashed when i clicked "Go". shocked, i asked him stupidly if that was suppose to happen, and i get a bullshit answer about how offshore fucked it up; now it would take them 2 days to fix. my first impression...
really, i can go on and go for hours about how these two fucks have cause me a great deal of distress. but instead, im going to focus in on how i'm going to get out of the mess that i got myself into by joining this company.
yup, i'm going to do the only thing that makes sense... i'm going to quit!
now i know that the economy is bad and so many people are struggling to find work. but just thinking about working makes me feel angry and sick. i mean seriously, im here sitting on sunday and already i feel upset that tomorrow i will have to go back to work and face these damn bastards. it's really destroying my life.
after quitting, i want to take some time off and just do nothing for a month or so. of course i'll be looking for a new job all the while, and maybe will get lucky and find something good. i met up and had dinner with a friend and former coworker at boeing, tien and his girlfriend, on friday. he told me that he took lots of risks and moved around a lot when he was my age, and that in the end it worked out for him.
imma do the same thing! come end of the month i'm done with infoshit.
|:: Yesterday's BBQ ::|
had a bbq at the beach yesterday with a bunch of friends. thought it would be a great sunny day to have a bbq get together last weekend, so just got up and did just that. it was great fun. to see my friends there together, and to see that i do have friends. we invited maybe 25 people and got a very good turn out.
the fire was hard to get started. the "guys" all tried to get it up and going, but there was so much wind that it made the nice sunny day cold. i'm not surprised that i wasn't able to get the fire started since i didn't have much camping or bonfire or bbq experience. wifey one the other hand was much smarter and more efficient, she got the fire started with the help of my friend Day. after a grueling hour and a half or so, the fire was started and the cooking commenced. then it was smooth sailing ahead.
the food was good and i got to talk to all my friends there. although we didn't talk too much about anything since everyone was too busy trying to get food. but all and all, i at least got to talk to the people who showed up.
it was good fun!
the fire was hard to get started. the "guys" all tried to get it up and going, but there was so much wind that it made the nice sunny day cold. i'm not surprised that i wasn't able to get the fire started since i didn't have much camping or bonfire or bbq experience. wifey one the other hand was much smarter and more efficient, she got the fire started with the help of my friend Day. after a grueling hour and a half or so, the fire was started and the cooking commenced. then it was smooth sailing ahead.
the food was good and i got to talk to all my friends there. although we didn't talk too much about anything since everyone was too busy trying to get food. but all and all, i at least got to talk to the people who showed up.
it was good fun!
|:: Start --> Shut Down --> Hibernate ::|
okay, so it's been a long time since i wrote anything here. not surprising, i'm just not too good about updating stuff or sitting down to write stuff, although i should be because i always write things down on paper. oh and btw, the place that i usually (if not always) do my writing is while i'm sitting on the toilet taking a dump. =S
so how are things going for me? usual. work, eat, sleep, play, think, worry. seems like i do much more of the last two things on the list now, but then again, i always have. sometimes, i wish there was a way to hibernate my brain, maybe then will i get some peace and quite.
i had more things to say about this post... but can't think of the words right now!
so how are things going for me? usual. work, eat, sleep, play, think, worry. seems like i do much more of the last two things on the list now, but then again, i always have. sometimes, i wish there was a way to hibernate my brain, maybe then will i get some peace and quite.
i had more things to say about this post... but can't think of the words right now!
Friday, January 2, 2009
|:: Back to Work ::|
Today is Friday and it is suppose to the be the day that Boeing people go back to work after the long holiday break. Not surprisingly, I am one of 30 or so people who are actually here at the office. Even more not surprising is that my co-workers are not here, bunch of lazy asses... So, I have nothing to do right now and decided to write this short entry.
The thought of work doesn't really excite me like it use to before. I use to believe that finding a good job would make me happy and that I would be rewarded for my hard work. And then reality hit and I end up in a company that doesn't even know that I exist (good thing the pay check still comes regularly), and I work with people who are ass kissing, "yes" men.
Work itself is not too bad, working with Boeing people and all. But things seem to move pretty slow here as there is a shit load of politics and not to mention tons of old people. The people are old and their thinking / mind set is old as well. Very protective of what they are and are extremely hostile if you try to change how they do work, specially if you try to help them work more effectively...
Muteless out!
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