today is my friend's belated birthday celebration. him and his wife invited a bunch of friends together to go on a hike at rattlesnake lake trail. of course there was no rattle snakes at the lake or on the trail, but the trail has got really great ratings from people who have hiked it.
wifey and i were a bit late getting to the meeting point, as usual, but when we got there, we found out that there was little or no phone reception. so getting a hold of the birthday boy and the rest of the people was a bit challenging. we waited at the parking lot for a bit, then decided to walk around to see if we were in the right parking lot, then walked some more to see if we could run into people we know.
luckily we were able to find my friend walking out to the front of the parking lot. apparently, there was another group of people who did not know where the meeting point was as well, so that made us feel a bit better. but after an hour or so of endless phone text messages, we found everyone and began the hike.
much different than the hike that wifey and i went to with our monkey brothers at lake serene, because this hike was a short but steep incline hike. it was only 2 miles long but we were to travel up 3300 feet in elevation. it was a tough hike in my opinion but quite good. we were all to busy trying to get up to the top quickly so we could take pictures and rest, that i didn't stop much to take pictures along the way.
it took us quite some time to make it up the hike. we had to stop a few times to rest up, as it was quite physically intensive. when we finally got up to the top of the hike, the view was beautiful as we were looking directly down at the lake from 3300 feet. the weather was beautiful and we could see the cascade mountains along with the roads and the trees surrounding rattlesnake lake. but it was also dangerous too because there was no restraints to prevent people from falling off the cliff. and boy was the fall deadly because it was straight down into sharp rocks and trees.
tired but excited we all got to the cliff edge to take pictures. i managed to take a lot of pictures from the top view as it was amazing. we sat around and talked for a bit, taking in the site that we were all seeing. the sun was glaring hot by the time we got up, and there were many other people who were there as well.
on the way up, as we were reaching the top of the cliff, we overheard some hikers talk about reporting some accident that happened to the search and rescue team. apparently a hiker fell off the cliff just minutes before we got up to the top. then when we were up at the top, we really did see a bunch of search and rescue people surveying the situation. i guess it was true, some poor person really did fall off the top and is no where to be found.
we began our hike back down and as we were walking we ran into more search and rescue rangers hiking up. as we reached the base of the trail we saw a whole team of search and rescue team along with the sheriff making plans for the search. we were too tired to care much at this point so we just headed back out of the park and saw a few people being turned away at the entrance because the trail was now closed off for the rescue. pretty heavy stuff.
i hope that the person is okay and that he/she is rescued safely.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
|:: Project - Fix Mazda MPV - Part 2 ::|
tired and hungry, jon and i went back into the house for some food and more brainstorming. i jumped only to search more about what other people had to say about removing starters from mpv vans. there was this one post that talked about having to remove the power steering gearbox and the alternator to slide the starter off.
after some food and new motivation, we were back outside trying to get the darn thing off again. we followed the instructions carefully and with some luck got the power steering wheel off, then realized that we didn't have to take anything else off because there was a big enough gap for the starter to squeeze out. lo-and-behold, after some wiggling it just dropped into our greasy little hands like butter.
success!! now it was time to test the starter.
goal : test the starter
now our new goal was to test the starter. we wired the battery to the starter solenoid and proceed to test it. funny thing was, none of us really knew what or how the starter should react normally if there was no problems. so we just hooked it up and tried to see what it did. we played around with it for an hour or so plugging the battery cables into different prongs and saw what it did. after some investigation, we notices that one of the prongs from the solenoid wasn't sending power through the system. and after multiple test, it seemed that that was the cause of the problem, or at least that's what we thought.
so now we could have done one of two things, (1) take apart the solenoid and try to fix it, or (2) find someone who was selling one and buy it. being the cheapo that i am, i choose the first option to see how hard it was going to be to fix it. did some research online to see if anyone else has done it, and found a page that had some instruction on how to take the thing apart for cleaning. okay, so let's try it.... hmm needs to have a welder to burn off the chrome plates... okay that sounds not so bad. only until i tried to do it that it kicked it... yup, there is a specific reason why mechanics get paid a lot to do this, this is totally out of my league.
went onto craigslist to find a seller of the starter, and found one chinese guy who was selling it for 60 bucks. i called the guy and tried to haggle with him to get it for cheaper since i was willing to trade my broken starter thinking that he might be one of those guys who fixes these dang things. best i could get was 50 for the new working one. left with not much other choice, i had jon go buy the starter two days later.
friday came around and finally i had the new starter from jon, and was really anxious to put it in to see what how it works. this time no one was there to help me so i had to one man show it, luckily i remembered all the steps for taking the starter off... but not so luckily, i forgot where some of the bolts and screws go back on the car ?_?... that didn't stop me though.
got underneath and plugged all the wiring back into the new starter. before putting the whole thing back together, i went to test the starter by trying to start the car. immediately, i notice that the new work starter responded without trouble. i heard the loud clicking noise of the starter working, and knew that that was the root cause of our problem. so i went back and put everything back the way it was before we removed the starter, and after 1.5 hours later, everything was back to it's right place.
getting anxious, i jumped into the car after plugging the battery back in and gave it a whirl. presto!!! the engine starter and the car was functional again.
the project was a success!
after some food and new motivation, we were back outside trying to get the darn thing off again. we followed the instructions carefully and with some luck got the power steering wheel off, then realized that we didn't have to take anything else off because there was a big enough gap for the starter to squeeze out. lo-and-behold, after some wiggling it just dropped into our greasy little hands like butter.
success!! now it was time to test the starter.
goal : test the starter
now our new goal was to test the starter. we wired the battery to the starter solenoid and proceed to test it. funny thing was, none of us really knew what or how the starter should react normally if there was no problems. so we just hooked it up and tried to see what it did. we played around with it for an hour or so plugging the battery cables into different prongs and saw what it did. after some investigation, we notices that one of the prongs from the solenoid wasn't sending power through the system. and after multiple test, it seemed that that was the cause of the problem, or at least that's what we thought.
so now we could have done one of two things, (1) take apart the solenoid and try to fix it, or (2) find someone who was selling one and buy it. being the cheapo that i am, i choose the first option to see how hard it was going to be to fix it. did some research online to see if anyone else has done it, and found a page that had some instruction on how to take the thing apart for cleaning. okay, so let's try it.... hmm needs to have a welder to burn off the chrome plates... okay that sounds not so bad. only until i tried to do it that it kicked it... yup, there is a specific reason why mechanics get paid a lot to do this, this is totally out of my league.
went onto craigslist to find a seller of the starter, and found one chinese guy who was selling it for 60 bucks. i called the guy and tried to haggle with him to get it for cheaper since i was willing to trade my broken starter thinking that he might be one of those guys who fixes these dang things. best i could get was 50 for the new working one. left with not much other choice, i had jon go buy the starter two days later.
friday came around and finally i had the new starter from jon, and was really anxious to put it in to see what how it works. this time no one was there to help me so i had to one man show it, luckily i remembered all the steps for taking the starter off... but not so luckily, i forgot where some of the bolts and screws go back on the car ?_?... that didn't stop me though.
got underneath and plugged all the wiring back into the new starter. before putting the whole thing back together, i went to test the starter by trying to start the car. immediately, i notice that the new work starter responded without trouble. i heard the loud clicking noise of the starter working, and knew that that was the root cause of our problem. so i went back and put everything back the way it was before we removed the starter, and after 1.5 hours later, everything was back to it's right place.
getting anxious, i jumped into the car after plugging the battery back in and gave it a whirl. presto!!! the engine starter and the car was functional again.
the project was a success!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
|:: Friday - Last Work Day ::|
my last work day is drawing near, and i don't have any plans lined up for work. let's be honest, i'm a bit worried about not having any work, and not getting any new skills. the last 2 years have been less than helpful in terms of career growth. dang... i haven't even updated my resume yet let alone start looking for jobs. really should get on it, but so dang lazy.
my manager tried to pull a fast one on me this week after i told him that my last day was at the end of the week. granted i didn't give him 2 weeks notice or anything, but if the company has the rights to fire me at any given point in time, then it is only logical that the same right would apply for the employee. i'm just merely exercising my rights. but that's the not point.
last week, after i told my manager and our engagement manager that i was going to be done as of this friday, they asked me if i could stay for one additional week, so that i could help the new guy transition into my job. i didn't promise them that i would agree to this arrangement, but said that i would need some time to discuss things with wifey, which was just basically buying time to say no. since monday was a holiday, it was only fair that i got back to them about my decision to stay longer or not on tuesday.
today [tuesday] when my manager, let's call him dildo for short since im lazy, i mean dildo came over to my building to "talk" with me about extending my stay. he called me in the morning and i asked him what how this would work if hr has confirmed that my last day is this friday, but dildo and company are asking me to stay a week longer. i asked dildo if this meant that i would be working for no pay, or would i be compensated for my time. he said that he would work something out... somehow i really didn't believe him, he's fucked me over before once with those words and never followed up.
he shows up at my desk and starts the conversation with, "so i told everyone that you could stay for an extra week." then proceeded to show me how to submit a request in our useless company intranet to have hr look at the request. now... i've worked with this hr request system many times before and know for damn sure that it takes them at least 4 days to reply to the request, let alone work the issue. so immediately, i had doubts about this whole thing... but dildo didn't even let me talk, he talked about how to submit the request and said, "okay now?" and before i could answer, his phone ran and he left my cubicle.
sitting dumbfounded, i closed the request window and was sure that i was not going to stay that extra week; i know they will not pay me for it. 1 hour later, after his mysterious phone call, dildo comes back and i demanded to have a quick chat. we sat down and i laid it on him, telling him that he can't go around telling the clients that i committed to an additional week when i didn't. then i firmly said that i was not going to stay the extra week and so he needs to do what he needs to do; but i'm done.
to make a long story short, i firmly kept my word that i would not stay that extra week. dildo looked so troubled and upset that he could not look at me eye to eye, of course i didn't give a damn at that point. they screwed me over so many times now, it's only fair for me to screw them over royally this one time. after the long ass 1.5 hour meeting, i only had 30 minutes left before going home, so i went back to my desk to surf the internet. then i went home happily. =)
my manager tried to pull a fast one on me this week after i told him that my last day was at the end of the week. granted i didn't give him 2 weeks notice or anything, but if the company has the rights to fire me at any given point in time, then it is only logical that the same right would apply for the employee. i'm just merely exercising my rights. but that's the not point.
last week, after i told my manager and our engagement manager that i was going to be done as of this friday, they asked me if i could stay for one additional week, so that i could help the new guy transition into my job. i didn't promise them that i would agree to this arrangement, but said that i would need some time to discuss things with wifey, which was just basically buying time to say no. since monday was a holiday, it was only fair that i got back to them about my decision to stay longer or not on tuesday.
today [tuesday] when my manager, let's call him dildo for short since im lazy, i mean dildo came over to my building to "talk" with me about extending my stay. he called me in the morning and i asked him what how this would work if hr has confirmed that my last day is this friday, but dildo and company are asking me to stay a week longer. i asked dildo if this meant that i would be working for no pay, or would i be compensated for my time. he said that he would work something out... somehow i really didn't believe him, he's fucked me over before once with those words and never followed up.
he shows up at my desk and starts the conversation with, "so i told everyone that you could stay for an extra week." then proceeded to show me how to submit a request in our useless company intranet to have hr look at the request. now... i've worked with this hr request system many times before and know for damn sure that it takes them at least 4 days to reply to the request, let alone work the issue. so immediately, i had doubts about this whole thing... but dildo didn't even let me talk, he talked about how to submit the request and said, "okay now?" and before i could answer, his phone ran and he left my cubicle.
sitting dumbfounded, i closed the request window and was sure that i was not going to stay that extra week; i know they will not pay me for it. 1 hour later, after his mysterious phone call, dildo comes back and i demanded to have a quick chat. we sat down and i laid it on him, telling him that he can't go around telling the clients that i committed to an additional week when i didn't. then i firmly said that i was not going to stay the extra week and so he needs to do what he needs to do; but i'm done.
to make a long story short, i firmly kept my word that i would not stay that extra week. dildo looked so troubled and upset that he could not look at me eye to eye, of course i didn't give a damn at that point. they screwed me over so many times now, it's only fair for me to screw them over royally this one time. after the long ass 1.5 hour meeting, i only had 30 minutes left before going home, so i went back to my desk to surf the internet. then i went home happily. =)
|:: Project - Fix Mazda MPV - Part 1 ::|
my dad and mom left for vietnam to visit family and deal with family affairs. they left my brother and i at the house along with my dad's crap load of cars. he has the most cars under his name than anyone in our household. i have my civic, my brother has his del sol, my mom has her corolla, and my dad had a sedan benz, a suv benz, and a mazda mpv van. and they are all sitting in the backyard collecting dust till my parents come home.
of the three cars that my dad is hording, the mazda mpv is not working. when we try to start it using the key, there is no response; the car lies lifeless. so after he left, i was left with the task of fixing the darn thing, but problem is, i don't know a thing about fixing cars... yet. since i am always up to learn something new, i wanted to really tackle this problem.
i called over my brother's friend, jon, to help me with the project. the goal is to fix the mpv so that it runs again. so this post is dedicated to the fixing of the mpv and the things that we tried. i will try to update this post whenever we work on the mpv until we get it working again... hopefully. (although i found a craigslist posting for a similar mpv for only 30,000 pennies... i mean $300.)
to begin the project, here is what we knew:
1) the battery is not the problem because we just replaced it with a new one
2) the car ran before and had problems starting long before the break down
3) it's not the alternator's problem also because that was replaced along with the battery
4) when we tried to start the car, there is a hissing noise and nothing else
chapter 1 : hypothesis - the starter is broken
goal : remove the starter unit and examine it
alright the goal is pretty straight forward, get the starter off the car and test it to see if it is broken. after doing some quick research about where the starter is on the mpv, we found that it was only accessible from the bottom of the car. which meant we had to jack the car up on stands so that we could work on the bottom to get the part out. sounds easy? well it's NOT! it took 2 guys pushing from the back of the car using a lot of momentum, plus 1 guy from the front to balance out the power so that the car wouldn't run over the stands and ultimately come crashing down. after a good 45 minutes... we crashed the car on the stands once, got scared, swore a lot, looked at each other, and then tried again. second time's the charm!
now that the stupid thing was on the two stands, it was time to get underneath and see what kind of beast we were dealing with. we busted out our trusty guide book which showed up where the starter was located and how to take it apart, of course the book was pretty much useless on instructing us on the process... but it did show us where relatively the part was. instruction said, take apart the three bolts that was holding the starter to the engine block. sounds simple? yeah it was, but then the fucking part had no way of coming out from under the car. the damn thing was entrapped in by the stupid frame of the car from underneath, and from the top... don't even think about it because you won't even be able to see the damn thing.
there was all but two wholes that were deceivingly small so no matter how we struggled with the darn thing, it was not coming out. okay, that was a good hour of time gone. now what? maybe if we take apart the metal casing that was hiding all the parts under the frame? yeah!!! that might work; let's do it... great idea, except the 4 bolts that was securing the casing was torqued on so tightly that i almost pee-ed my pants trying to unbolt it. but, after another 15 minutes and enough cursing to turn a saint into a devil... we got the bolts loosened. alright, now we're rocking! that's what we thought... after removing all the crazy bolts, we yanked the casing only to find that it was securely wrapped around the axle of the front wheel, good god! that was a big waste of time.
to be continued...
of the three cars that my dad is hording, the mazda mpv is not working. when we try to start it using the key, there is no response; the car lies lifeless. so after he left, i was left with the task of fixing the darn thing, but problem is, i don't know a thing about fixing cars... yet. since i am always up to learn something new, i wanted to really tackle this problem.
i called over my brother's friend, jon, to help me with the project. the goal is to fix the mpv so that it runs again. so this post is dedicated to the fixing of the mpv and the things that we tried. i will try to update this post whenever we work on the mpv until we get it working again... hopefully. (although i found a craigslist posting for a similar mpv for only 30,000 pennies... i mean $300.)
to begin the project, here is what we knew:
1) the battery is not the problem because we just replaced it with a new one
2) the car ran before and had problems starting long before the break down
3) it's not the alternator's problem also because that was replaced along with the battery
4) when we tried to start the car, there is a hissing noise and nothing else
chapter 1 : hypothesis - the starter is broken
goal : remove the starter unit and examine it
alright the goal is pretty straight forward, get the starter off the car and test it to see if it is broken. after doing some quick research about where the starter is on the mpv, we found that it was only accessible from the bottom of the car. which meant we had to jack the car up on stands so that we could work on the bottom to get the part out. sounds easy? well it's NOT! it took 2 guys pushing from the back of the car using a lot of momentum, plus 1 guy from the front to balance out the power so that the car wouldn't run over the stands and ultimately come crashing down. after a good 45 minutes... we crashed the car on the stands once, got scared, swore a lot, looked at each other, and then tried again. second time's the charm!
now that the stupid thing was on the two stands, it was time to get underneath and see what kind of beast we were dealing with. we busted out our trusty guide book which showed up where the starter was located and how to take it apart, of course the book was pretty much useless on instructing us on the process... but it did show us where relatively the part was. instruction said, take apart the three bolts that was holding the starter to the engine block. sounds simple? yeah it was, but then the fucking part had no way of coming out from under the car. the damn thing was entrapped in by the stupid frame of the car from underneath, and from the top... don't even think about it because you won't even be able to see the damn thing.
there was all but two wholes that were deceivingly small so no matter how we struggled with the darn thing, it was not coming out. okay, that was a good hour of time gone. now what? maybe if we take apart the metal casing that was hiding all the parts under the frame? yeah!!! that might work; let's do it... great idea, except the 4 bolts that was securing the casing was torqued on so tightly that i almost pee-ed my pants trying to unbolt it. but, after another 15 minutes and enough cursing to turn a saint into a devil... we got the bolts loosened. alright, now we're rocking! that's what we thought... after removing all the crazy bolts, we yanked the casing only to find that it was securely wrapped around the axle of the front wheel, good god! that was a big waste of time.
to be continued...
Monday, May 25, 2009
|:: We Are Growing Weaker ::|
when i was young my uncle would force me to go to to church every sunday. he would threaten and yell at me to go. the church people were really nice, but i felt that they were a bit close minded to ideas. because the priest of church was chinese, he gave the sermons in mandarin, and i couldn't understand what he was saying, so they made me go to bible study. i remember being that age and full of questions about life, death, religion, pain, suffering, heaven, and hell. i would ask all these questions and would always get a half answer which usually ended up becoming "you just have to have faith" answer. so unsatisfying...
later as i grew up, i began to learn about science and about evolution and darwinism. i truly felt that it made much more sense than just the simple fact that god created everything and then we were here. at least i can see evolution around us, specially in the micro organism level like bacterias and viruses. i became a believer of evolution and natural selection. all of which brings me to the point that, we as a human species is getting weaker.
the world is changing so fast because of so many factors but one of them must because the existence of humans. we have done so much to the world in the last 40 year than any other creature in the last hundred thousand years. with our massive energy consumption, and huge resources waste, we have caused all of this change in the world. and we have also brought more plague and disease into this world because of what we do.
but we humans are not able to evolve fast enough to keep up with the rate of change. why? because we have become so dependent on technology and modern medicine to do everything for us, that over the century we have grown weak against the forces of nature. in the past, natural selection would really weed out all the weak genetic traits and ensure that the strong remained. because of that humans kept on evolving with nature to counter any disease or change. natural selection keeps us evolving with time and keeping only the strong that can survive.
now we have all this medicine crap that is suppose to help us, but is actually doing more damage than help. the cold harsh truth of reality is (you don't have to agree with me if you don't want to about this) that the weak should not be allowed to survive. weak people who have poor genetic traits should get weeded out of the selection process, meaning they shouldn't be allowed to pass on their inferior genes on to the next generation. because this is no longer the case since we have technology and medicine to help these weaker people, we are screwing up natural selection!
and now as we can see, nature is changing at an alarming rate to try to keep up with the changes that we place on the planet, but one species is not conforming to the change; humans. we continue to eat up the world of its natural resources to develop stronger and stronger drugs that will prolong life. where in reality we are actually weakening ourselves and eventually we will run into or develop a disease that will be so strong that our bodies simply won't be able to fight. and we will all be in trouble. in fact it already exists, one of them is called AIDS and it's friend cancer.
i wonder if these diseases would have been so fatal if we didn't have all of this medicine and just let natural selection take its course?
later as i grew up, i began to learn about science and about evolution and darwinism. i truly felt that it made much more sense than just the simple fact that god created everything and then we were here. at least i can see evolution around us, specially in the micro organism level like bacterias and viruses. i became a believer of evolution and natural selection. all of which brings me to the point that, we as a human species is getting weaker.
the world is changing so fast because of so many factors but one of them must because the existence of humans. we have done so much to the world in the last 40 year than any other creature in the last hundred thousand years. with our massive energy consumption, and huge resources waste, we have caused all of this change in the world. and we have also brought more plague and disease into this world because of what we do.
but we humans are not able to evolve fast enough to keep up with the rate of change. why? because we have become so dependent on technology and modern medicine to do everything for us, that over the century we have grown weak against the forces of nature. in the past, natural selection would really weed out all the weak genetic traits and ensure that the strong remained. because of that humans kept on evolving with nature to counter any disease or change. natural selection keeps us evolving with time and keeping only the strong that can survive.
now we have all this medicine crap that is suppose to help us, but is actually doing more damage than help. the cold harsh truth of reality is (you don't have to agree with me if you don't want to about this) that the weak should not be allowed to survive. weak people who have poor genetic traits should get weeded out of the selection process, meaning they shouldn't be allowed to pass on their inferior genes on to the next generation. because this is no longer the case since we have technology and medicine to help these weaker people, we are screwing up natural selection!
and now as we can see, nature is changing at an alarming rate to try to keep up with the changes that we place on the planet, but one species is not conforming to the change; humans. we continue to eat up the world of its natural resources to develop stronger and stronger drugs that will prolong life. where in reality we are actually weakening ourselves and eventually we will run into or develop a disease that will be so strong that our bodies simply won't be able to fight. and we will all be in trouble. in fact it already exists, one of them is called AIDS and it's friend cancer.
i wonder if these diseases would have been so fatal if we didn't have all of this medicine and just let natural selection take its course?
|:: I Hate Allergies ::|
so my last post was about how my allergies are here again... and how it is really messing up my life. well, i need to vent about it again just to emphasize on how shitty it is.
it feels almost like i can't go anywhere because everywhere is polluted with pollen. the moment i get into the house, in my room, i start sniffing and sneezing. on top of that, one of my nose blocks up and i am left struggling for air. this continues for the whole night or day or whatever! it just goes on and on and feels like it never will end. and it really kills my sleep because i can't breath correctly so i wake up from time to time to try to clear my sinus.
fucking hell! this is just the beginning of the season too, i can't imagine what it will be like when summer really gets here. last year was really bad; just thinking about it makes me mad. summer time last year i couldn't even go outside because my eyes would get so itchy and watery that it would swell up and fill up with tears. i couldn't stop myself from tearing up and looking like a freak. the worst part of it was if i rubbed my eyes at all, it only amplifies the allergy even more which takes even longer to recover.
i hope that this year will not be the same, else i will die. wifey and i will go and get an air purifier at fred meyers today to see if it will help; i need my sleep back!
it feels almost like i can't go anywhere because everywhere is polluted with pollen. the moment i get into the house, in my room, i start sniffing and sneezing. on top of that, one of my nose blocks up and i am left struggling for air. this continues for the whole night or day or whatever! it just goes on and on and feels like it never will end. and it really kills my sleep because i can't breath correctly so i wake up from time to time to try to clear my sinus.
fucking hell! this is just the beginning of the season too, i can't imagine what it will be like when summer really gets here. last year was really bad; just thinking about it makes me mad. summer time last year i couldn't even go outside because my eyes would get so itchy and watery that it would swell up and fill up with tears. i couldn't stop myself from tearing up and looking like a freak. the worst part of it was if i rubbed my eyes at all, it only amplifies the allergy even more which takes even longer to recover.
i hope that this year will not be the same, else i will die. wifey and i will go and get an air purifier at fred meyers today to see if it will help; i need my sleep back!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
|:: Stupid Allergies ::|
i love it when spring and summer time comes. the sun is out, the days are longer, the weather is nicer, and the women are wearing sexy clothes. it's the best time to go out and do stuff, go to the beach, go to the park, to the lake, to hikes, to anywhere and anything; it's just a great time to be outside. but not for me.
no no no... spring time means death of allergy for me. it is the time when my eyes water up and my noses runs like water. it is the most annoying time because i sneeze so damn much when there is pollen in the air, which is all the time. i get so annoyed when i cant breath like a normal person and have to snort and snort just to stay alive. and on top of that, i feel so crazy when i cant control myself. most of the time, i want to chop off my nose just to stop the agony.
so today, while i was going to pick up our new car in maple valley, i had the windows rolled up with the vents closed. i turned up the air conditioning so that we wouldn't suffocate to death, but made sure that all the windows were closed so that i don't die from the trillions of plant sperm (pollen) floating in the air. i mean, holy shit, there was so many pollen on the road. because it was hitting the windows like cotton balls as it was hitting the car windshield. and you know what? i sneezed like a horse and i wanted to gouge my own eyes out because of the itchiness.
it was like this through out the whole one hour drive. but then... on the way back from maple valley i drove the cabrioloet home. i had both the driver and passenger windows rolled down, and i thought that i would be dying from it. but actually i didn't even sneeze once. the whole ride home was allergy-free. but the moment i walked into the house, all that allergy shit came rushing back like bad gas from a person who ate too much beans.
my stupid house is the real cause for the allergies. my brother has the same problem because he sneezes like there is no tomorrow in this damn house. and at night time, i cant sleep because i cant freaking breathe... urrg it is so annoying. that's it, this year i'm getting myself an air purifier, no more of this struggle!
no no no... spring time means death of allergy for me. it is the time when my eyes water up and my noses runs like water. it is the most annoying time because i sneeze so damn much when there is pollen in the air, which is all the time. i get so annoyed when i cant breath like a normal person and have to snort and snort just to stay alive. and on top of that, i feel so crazy when i cant control myself. most of the time, i want to chop off my nose just to stop the agony.
so today, while i was going to pick up our new car in maple valley, i had the windows rolled up with the vents closed. i turned up the air conditioning so that we wouldn't suffocate to death, but made sure that all the windows were closed so that i don't die from the trillions of plant sperm (pollen) floating in the air. i mean, holy shit, there was so many pollen on the road. because it was hitting the windows like cotton balls as it was hitting the car windshield. and you know what? i sneezed like a horse and i wanted to gouge my own eyes out because of the itchiness.
it was like this through out the whole one hour drive. but then... on the way back from maple valley i drove the cabrioloet home. i had both the driver and passenger windows rolled down, and i thought that i would be dying from it. but actually i didn't even sneeze once. the whole ride home was allergy-free. but the moment i walked into the house, all that allergy shit came rushing back like bad gas from a person who ate too much beans.
my stupid house is the real cause for the allergies. my brother has the same problem because he sneezes like there is no tomorrow in this damn house. and at night time, i cant sleep because i cant freaking breathe... urrg it is so annoying. that's it, this year i'm getting myself an air purifier, no more of this struggle!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
|:: 1988 VW Cabriolet Convertible ::|
a few days ago, i had a wild thought of buying a car to work on as a project car. i've had this thought for a good long time now, but could never really get down to doing it. it was always some excuse or reason for why it wasn't the right time to buy a car. (for those who might not know what a project car is, it is a car that is rebuilt as a side project.)
well no more excuses! as of today, i have bought a brand smacking new, old 1988 VW Cabriolet Convertible for $900. wifey and i have been searching online this whole week to find a car to buy to work on. we looked at the usual set of cars like honda del sol, honda civic, and other import cars. but we never thought of finding an old VW.
when we saw the online post for the first time, wifey told me that she really liked it. and when i looked at it, i thought that it was not that great. also the seller had posted a lot of pictures along with a detail description of all the defects, which i thought was very honest. he pointed out a lot of the faults that the car had and reasoned why he was posting the price for $1000. the car still runs, according to the post, and i thought that it was amazing that the thing still ran.
but the more i looked at the photos, i grew to like to more and more. and eventually i really liked the car because of the potential that it could have. the body and frame was really in tact and it was perfect because i could strip the car down and totally rebuild it from ground up. it was going to be an amazing project car.
i called the seller up to ask for a time to look at the car. wifey and i drove down to maple valley, which was an hour away from home, to take a look at it. when we got there we saw it and really like it. but the problem was someone was also looking at the car and was offering the seller $850. i didn't give him an offer at that time but told him that i was really interested. then i wanted to bring in a friend jon, i the project so that he could help me check if the car was worth the money.
so the folks who offered $850 was going to buy the car and they said that they would pick it up yesterday night. i messaged the seller telling him that i really like the car and if the buyers ended up flaking out on the deal, then i would take it for $900 flat. yesterday night, surely enough i got a message from the seller saying that the buyers came and tried to low ball him for $700. so he messaged me and asked if i was interested; of course i was!
today morning wifey, jon, and i went to inspect the car again. although it wasn't prefect, we were all really happy with teh car and i bought it! we signed all the paperwork and wasted no time in getting the car home. it is finally ours!!! my project car is here and now is where the fun begins.
well no more excuses! as of today, i have bought a brand smacking new, old 1988 VW Cabriolet Convertible for $900. wifey and i have been searching online this whole week to find a car to buy to work on. we looked at the usual set of cars like honda del sol, honda civic, and other import cars. but we never thought of finding an old VW.
when we saw the online post for the first time, wifey told me that she really liked it. and when i looked at it, i thought that it was not that great. also the seller had posted a lot of pictures along with a detail description of all the defects, which i thought was very honest. he pointed out a lot of the faults that the car had and reasoned why he was posting the price for $1000. the car still runs, according to the post, and i thought that it was amazing that the thing still ran.
but the more i looked at the photos, i grew to like to more and more. and eventually i really liked the car because of the potential that it could have. the body and frame was really in tact and it was perfect because i could strip the car down and totally rebuild it from ground up. it was going to be an amazing project car.
i called the seller up to ask for a time to look at the car. wifey and i drove down to maple valley, which was an hour away from home, to take a look at it. when we got there we saw it and really like it. but the problem was someone was also looking at the car and was offering the seller $850. i didn't give him an offer at that time but told him that i was really interested. then i wanted to bring in a friend jon, i the project so that he could help me check if the car was worth the money.
so the folks who offered $850 was going to buy the car and they said that they would pick it up yesterday night. i messaged the seller telling him that i really like the car and if the buyers ended up flaking out on the deal, then i would take it for $900 flat. yesterday night, surely enough i got a message from the seller saying that the buyers came and tried to low ball him for $700. so he messaged me and asked if i was interested; of course i was!
today morning wifey, jon, and i went to inspect the car again. although it wasn't prefect, we were all really happy with teh car and i bought it! we signed all the paperwork and wasted no time in getting the car home. it is finally ours!!! my project car is here and now is where the fun begins.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
|:: Resignation, It's Official ::|
as of yesterday morning, i officially submitted my resignation from work. it was a tense and epic moment as my coworker and friend, andrew, stood around to witness the doom of our application. as i clicked the submit button, i had all but one doubt... now what am i going to do for money?
it was a good 3 months of indecisiveness that lead up to this event. i wanted to leave a long time ago, when i realized that i wasn't going to get the experience that i needed to move my career to the next step. i loved my work, but just hated everything else around it. though there were some moments where it felt good to be working on the project, majority of the time it was negative feelings.
the best part was the feeling of freedom that came when i finally convinced myself that this was the last straw; i'm done with this job! it was so liberating, as if i had forgotten the feeling from long ago.
the worst parts about quitting was the feeling that i was abandoning all the boeing people who had so much faith in our application. and to all the many many boeing people who never heard about it before and were really happy that we developed something that would save them so much time. and specially all the amazing package expeditors whom i had the esteem pleasure of working with. i will miss them dearly.
i've only told 3 people about me leaving the job, and though they were all very happy for me to move on to find my greater passion, they were were so sad. one of them took it quite hard and i could see that she had a sense of lost motivation when she heard my words. i feel so sad to break the news to hear, but there was nothing that could be done. i'm hoping that everyone will be alright after i leave and at the same time, i hope that things don't get crazy for andrew, who most likely will have to take over for me.
it was a good 3 months of indecisiveness that lead up to this event. i wanted to leave a long time ago, when i realized that i wasn't going to get the experience that i needed to move my career to the next step. i loved my work, but just hated everything else around it. though there were some moments where it felt good to be working on the project, majority of the time it was negative feelings.
the best part was the feeling of freedom that came when i finally convinced myself that this was the last straw; i'm done with this job! it was so liberating, as if i had forgotten the feeling from long ago.
the worst parts about quitting was the feeling that i was abandoning all the boeing people who had so much faith in our application. and to all the many many boeing people who never heard about it before and were really happy that we developed something that would save them so much time. and specially all the amazing package expeditors whom i had the esteem pleasure of working with. i will miss them dearly.
i've only told 3 people about me leaving the job, and though they were all very happy for me to move on to find my greater passion, they were were so sad. one of them took it quite hard and i could see that she had a sense of lost motivation when she heard my words. i feel so sad to break the news to hear, but there was nothing that could be done. i'm hoping that everyone will be alright after i leave and at the same time, i hope that things don't get crazy for andrew, who most likely will have to take over for me.
Friday, May 15, 2009
|:: The Day I Called In Sick ::|
yesterday, on thrusday, i was suppose to have a 6:30 am meeting with a manager at boeing to discuss about future plans for the application that my team is supporting. i got the meeting notice on wednesday evening at 4:20 pm when i was about to leave the office, which was so uncool. so i set my alarm for 5:30 am to wake up and get ready to attend the stupid meeting. but when i woke up, i got the laziest feeling to just skip work.
after spending 5 minutes debating to myself whether or not i should go to work, which ended up taking more like 15 minutes, i finally decided that i'd call in sick. so i grab my phone and called my partner who was so damn adamant that he be apart of the meeting, the day before. he actually got a bit offended when the client asked for me to attend and didn't include him on the email list.
when i called him, he picked up and i could tell that he was still sleeping. and before i could ask him if he was attending the meeting, so that i didn't have to attend, he immediate said that he wasn't going to attend because he didn't know where the meeting location was... so i told him that i was sick and couldn't make it to the meeting, and he just said "fine." he didn't even care, i wasn't the least big surprised. finally, i called a friend to cover me so that i can take the day off.
wow, let me tell you, that day off was one of the best days ever! it was like a mini-vacation and had some amazing therapeutic effect. everything, or at least it seemed, happened so rightly, it was almost perfect. simply an awesome day!
after the phone calls, i crawled back into bed next to wifey and passed out for the next 6 hours. oh god the extra hours of piggying out was so good. not only that, but i had a sweet dream where i had a super power of some sort, don't really remember what i was but it filled me with this amazingly joyous feeling of happiness; the same feeling as the first day your parents brought you to the toy store, and you could pick out whatever you wanted. yeah, it was that good!
when i finally decided to open my refreshed eyes, it was 12 noon and was perfect time for lunch. i (after much much struggle) managed to wake wifey up and got her to start getting ready so we can head out to lunch. i was suppose to drive down to my company's main office so i can tell them to dis-allocate my laptop so that i won't be held responsible for it anymore. but while wifey was getting ready i called them and they said that they could take care of it without me driving all the way down there; sweet! now wifey and i had way more time to go to our favorite sushi restaurant and pig out on their so call "edible art" fusion sushi; delicious!
that was just the beginning of the day. the rest of it was just as spectacular, and after it all i felt so close to wifey. spending the whole day with her doing the things that young love-birds do; so many smiles and so much laughter. by far one of the best days for me to skip work.
after spending 5 minutes debating to myself whether or not i should go to work, which ended up taking more like 15 minutes, i finally decided that i'd call in sick. so i grab my phone and called my partner who was so damn adamant that he be apart of the meeting, the day before. he actually got a bit offended when the client asked for me to attend and didn't include him on the email list.
when i called him, he picked up and i could tell that he was still sleeping. and before i could ask him if he was attending the meeting, so that i didn't have to attend, he immediate said that he wasn't going to attend because he didn't know where the meeting location was... so i told him that i was sick and couldn't make it to the meeting, and he just said "fine." he didn't even care, i wasn't the least big surprised. finally, i called a friend to cover me so that i can take the day off.
wow, let me tell you, that day off was one of the best days ever! it was like a mini-vacation and had some amazing therapeutic effect. everything, or at least it seemed, happened so rightly, it was almost perfect. simply an awesome day!
after the phone calls, i crawled back into bed next to wifey and passed out for the next 6 hours. oh god the extra hours of piggying out was so good. not only that, but i had a sweet dream where i had a super power of some sort, don't really remember what i was but it filled me with this amazingly joyous feeling of happiness; the same feeling as the first day your parents brought you to the toy store, and you could pick out whatever you wanted. yeah, it was that good!
when i finally decided to open my refreshed eyes, it was 12 noon and was perfect time for lunch. i (after much much struggle) managed to wake wifey up and got her to start getting ready so we can head out to lunch. i was suppose to drive down to my company's main office so i can tell them to dis-allocate my laptop so that i won't be held responsible for it anymore. but while wifey was getting ready i called them and they said that they could take care of it without me driving all the way down there; sweet! now wifey and i had way more time to go to our favorite sushi restaurant and pig out on their so call "edible art" fusion sushi; delicious!
that was just the beginning of the day. the rest of it was just as spectacular, and after it all i felt so close to wifey. spending the whole day with her doing the things that young love-birds do; so many smiles and so much laughter. by far one of the best days for me to skip work.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
|:: My Top 5 Life Goals ::|
i've been thinking a lot about my goals and what i want to achieve in life. i'm putting this list of 5 top life goals so that i can write it all down and track it whenever i find myself lost and don't really know what i am doing. so here we go...
(1) i want to travel and see the world.
places i want to go to are: hawaii, singapore, thailand, japan, brazil, eastern europe (for wifey's sake), hong kong, austraila, mexico (yes even there despite the piggy flu), egypt, china, and korea. this is just the initial places that i want to see, there are way more once i get these done.
(2) i want to start and run my own business
haven't really had a solid concept yet that i truly feel passionate about converting into a business, but i know that someday i will find a small venture that is fitting of my skills. and when that happens, i want to start a business and run it successfully. then after that, i want to be able to hand it off to employees that i hire to run, and i would manage the business with wifey.
(3) i want to buy a house and have kids
well, this one is more like 2 goals in one, but they almost always go hand in hand, so i'll consider it as one. but i want to buy a house somewhere warm with lots of sunlight, because i am a vitamin d junkie. a place that is safe and the cost of living is low, where there is a good amount of people and city life, and with a strong asian community. i want my kids to grow up diversified.
i want 2 kids, 1 boy and 1 girl. of course i really can't choose since it's all chance anyways, but i can damn well dream.
(4) i want to buy a sweet ass motorcycle.
i either want the yamaha r6, or the suzuki r600, or the honda cbr. soooooooo juicy! writing about it makes me want to get it... right now!
(5) i want to master everything that i am interested in. right now, there are a few skills that i really want to be good at, and this goal takes that to the limit by me mastering all the skills. i want to master excel, photoshop, gardening, fixing cars, web designing, software development, and love making. yup that's right love making; i'm not saying that i have problems because i'm damn right amazing at it. but that's not the same as being a MASTER at it, if you know what i mean.
alright so these are my top 5 life goals so far. i'm sure as time change i'll reach closer to each one of them and even achieve some of them in the near future. when that happens new ones will come up and i keep working for the next set of goals.
(1) i want to travel and see the world.
places i want to go to are: hawaii, singapore, thailand, japan, brazil, eastern europe (for wifey's sake), hong kong, austraila, mexico (yes even there despite the piggy flu), egypt, china, and korea. this is just the initial places that i want to see, there are way more once i get these done.
(2) i want to start and run my own business
haven't really had a solid concept yet that i truly feel passionate about converting into a business, but i know that someday i will find a small venture that is fitting of my skills. and when that happens, i want to start a business and run it successfully. then after that, i want to be able to hand it off to employees that i hire to run, and i would manage the business with wifey.
(3) i want to buy a house and have kids
well, this one is more like 2 goals in one, but they almost always go hand in hand, so i'll consider it as one. but i want to buy a house somewhere warm with lots of sunlight, because i am a vitamin d junkie. a place that is safe and the cost of living is low, where there is a good amount of people and city life, and with a strong asian community. i want my kids to grow up diversified.
i want 2 kids, 1 boy and 1 girl. of course i really can't choose since it's all chance anyways, but i can damn well dream.
(4) i want to buy a sweet ass motorcycle.
i either want the yamaha r6, or the suzuki r600, or the honda cbr. soooooooo juicy! writing about it makes me want to get it... right now!
(5) i want to master everything that i am interested in. right now, there are a few skills that i really want to be good at, and this goal takes that to the limit by me mastering all the skills. i want to master excel, photoshop, gardening, fixing cars, web designing, software development, and love making. yup that's right love making; i'm not saying that i have problems because i'm damn right amazing at it. but that's not the same as being a MASTER at it, if you know what i mean.
alright so these are my top 5 life goals so far. i'm sure as time change i'll reach closer to each one of them and even achieve some of them in the near future. when that happens new ones will come up and i keep working for the next set of goals.
|:: Nightly Showers of Kisses ::|
i wake up for work everyday at 7:00 am, which isn't that early compared to a lot of other early bird people, but it is pretty early for me. so that i look like a zombie each day, i usually hit the sack at around 11 or 12 am... or even earlier depending on how old i feel that day. wifey on the other hand doesn't have this limitation; she can sleep whenever she wants and wake up whenever she wants.
typically, i would be the old fart that i am and pass out around 12. but wifey is still wide awake with nothing to do. although she tries to go to sleep at the same time as me, she just can't; either she's had too much sleep the morning before or she is just too use to not sleeping at that time. whatever the reason may be, she ends up spending her time on the bed watching korean/japanese/hong kong drama. and she usually watches this till pretty early in the morning, maybe 3 or 4 am, i don't really know because i'm way passed out by then.
on occasions, i would assume that the drama gets pretty sappy and emotions go flaring in wifey. at which point she has the spurge to hug me and kiss me sporadically, while telling me in my half sleep state, that she really appreciates me and loves me so very much.
now don't get me wrong, i love to be pampered like this, i mean who wouldn't right? right! but the thing is the timing... you see i'm not very responsive when i am half asleep and half awake. so instead of taking all this love in and reciprocating it back, all i can do is give her a goofy ass smile that says "yeah woooh that's great" and "omg i'm so tired i can't open my freakin eyes". and i know it's a goofy ass smile too because i can remember the face that i was making the next morning when i wake up fully and realize, what the heck was i thinking.
and on top of the silly smile, i try my best to mutter some response to acknowledge that i am listening and understanding what wifey is say, which most of the time i don't. and my brain can't think as fast so it just tries to latch on to a single phrase that is somewhat mutual and safe to respond with no matter what wifey says. so out of my half asleep world i mutter "yeah... love you so much too." or "i love you too honey" followed by a unconscious kiss to her arm.
then wifey would again shower me with more kisses and loving words, but usually i'd be way too out of energy to even give my goofy smile anymore. at which point, i instantly drift back into hibernation mode to try to salvage what little time i had left to sleep before the damn alarm, or roccio, wakes me up for work.
that's typically how my nights go. jealous? hahahahah
typically, i would be the old fart that i am and pass out around 12. but wifey is still wide awake with nothing to do. although she tries to go to sleep at the same time as me, she just can't; either she's had too much sleep the morning before or she is just too use to not sleeping at that time. whatever the reason may be, she ends up spending her time on the bed watching korean/japanese/hong kong drama. and she usually watches this till pretty early in the morning, maybe 3 or 4 am, i don't really know because i'm way passed out by then.
on occasions, i would assume that the drama gets pretty sappy and emotions go flaring in wifey. at which point she has the spurge to hug me and kiss me sporadically, while telling me in my half sleep state, that she really appreciates me and loves me so very much.
now don't get me wrong, i love to be pampered like this, i mean who wouldn't right? right! but the thing is the timing... you see i'm not very responsive when i am half asleep and half awake. so instead of taking all this love in and reciprocating it back, all i can do is give her a goofy ass smile that says "yeah woooh that's great" and "omg i'm so tired i can't open my freakin eyes". and i know it's a goofy ass smile too because i can remember the face that i was making the next morning when i wake up fully and realize, what the heck was i thinking.
and on top of the silly smile, i try my best to mutter some response to acknowledge that i am listening and understanding what wifey is say, which most of the time i don't. and my brain can't think as fast so it just tries to latch on to a single phrase that is somewhat mutual and safe to respond with no matter what wifey says. so out of my half asleep world i mutter "yeah... love you so much too." or "i love you too honey" followed by a unconscious kiss to her arm.
then wifey would again shower me with more kisses and loving words, but usually i'd be way too out of energy to even give my goofy smile anymore. at which point, i instantly drift back into hibernation mode to try to salvage what little time i had left to sleep before the damn alarm, or roccio, wakes me up for work.
that's typically how my nights go. jealous? hahahahah
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
|:: Points Finger at Self ::|
what does "point finger at self" mean? and why did i use this name as my blog. simple, because i always blame myself for everything.
i am someone who thinks way too much and internalize everything... as a result it always drives me to think that i am always at fault, that maybe i am always the one who is making the mistake and causing trouble. i don't think that i was always like this, at one point in my life i was actually pretty strong and had lots of courage. i think all of that changed when i moved over to the states with my family.
after we moved here, i didn't really see much of my parents. everyone was too occupied with work to pay attention to me. i can totally understand that under the circumstances, things had to happen the way that it did, and my parents had to make the choices that they did; i don't blame them. but because they were never around anymore and because i didn't have any friends, i started to lose confidence in myself.
on top of that, i was put into a foreign school that had foreign customs that i was not familiar with. i could not speak english and could not make any friends. i was the uncool foreign student who looked and talked funny. it was hard to get adjusted to, and for years i would continue to feel really left out. i became the kid that was on the outside always looking in as the kids on the inside were having so much fun together.
my confidence really took a beating and i started to internalize my own faults. i never really got use to the life style in the states, and to this day, i still feel that i am just a foreigner looking in. as the years went by, i was really starting to think that i was at the fault of the whole ordeal, and that maybe if i wasn't so this and that, that i would have more friends and would be living a much happier life. it was just me that was the problem, and there wasn't anything that i could do to change that... i began to accept that.
old habits are hard to break, and as an adult now with a wife and a life, i still internalize way too much. but i am working hard at slowly letting that go, to open up and share with my wife my thoughts and feelings. so that i don't bottle feelings up and end up hurting myself in the end. it's a tough thing to do and in no way can i change it quickly, but i am working at it and slowly but surely. maybe someday far in the future, i can stop pointing fingers at myself and finally be happy to accept who i am without all the faults.
someday.
i am someone who thinks way too much and internalize everything... as a result it always drives me to think that i am always at fault, that maybe i am always the one who is making the mistake and causing trouble. i don't think that i was always like this, at one point in my life i was actually pretty strong and had lots of courage. i think all of that changed when i moved over to the states with my family.
after we moved here, i didn't really see much of my parents. everyone was too occupied with work to pay attention to me. i can totally understand that under the circumstances, things had to happen the way that it did, and my parents had to make the choices that they did; i don't blame them. but because they were never around anymore and because i didn't have any friends, i started to lose confidence in myself.
on top of that, i was put into a foreign school that had foreign customs that i was not familiar with. i could not speak english and could not make any friends. i was the uncool foreign student who looked and talked funny. it was hard to get adjusted to, and for years i would continue to feel really left out. i became the kid that was on the outside always looking in as the kids on the inside were having so much fun together.
my confidence really took a beating and i started to internalize my own faults. i never really got use to the life style in the states, and to this day, i still feel that i am just a foreigner looking in. as the years went by, i was really starting to think that i was at the fault of the whole ordeal, and that maybe if i wasn't so this and that, that i would have more friends and would be living a much happier life. it was just me that was the problem, and there wasn't anything that i could do to change that... i began to accept that.
old habits are hard to break, and as an adult now with a wife and a life, i still internalize way too much. but i am working hard at slowly letting that go, to open up and share with my wife my thoughts and feelings. so that i don't bottle feelings up and end up hurting myself in the end. it's a tough thing to do and in no way can i change it quickly, but i am working at it and slowly but surely. maybe someday far in the future, i can stop pointing fingers at myself and finally be happy to accept who i am without all the faults.
someday.
|:: Wonderful Wife ::|
if you were to ask me what kind of person i would want to have as a wife, i would not be able to tell you. and to be completely honest, i still don't think that i can answer that question. but i do know one thing, i do have a great wife.
probably about one year ago, at this time, i would still be in india, in a city called mysore. it would be reaching near the end of wifey's stay in india and she would now have to leave to fly back to malaysia. but me on the other hand, i would have to stay in india for a bit longer before i too had to return to the states. this was perhaps one of the hardest moments for wifey and i, as we both didn't know what was to become of us once we parted ways.
i never thought that long distance relationships could work out, but i guess i just never found anyone worth waiting for. after meeting wifey and spending all those precious moments with her in india, the choice was much easier to make. and even if i knew what it would mean for us to stay together after we both left india, i was ready for that decision; i was ready to marry her.
after i got back to the states, i filed the paper for the petition to sponser wifey over. the process would take roughly 6 months or more, so we had to do it right away. and even during that time, we were still getting to know each other bit by bit. there was still a bit of doubt and uncertainty about what we were both getting into, i guess me more than her. but i didn't want to jump into marriage and then end up finding out that it was a mistake, i wanted to be more sure that this is what i really wanted.
so we waited for each other for the long 6 months. always using skype to talk to each other online. we had a set time for us to talk, and we would try to talk everyday. it was tough being long distance, and i never imagined it would as tough as it was. when times were good, things were fine, but when we got into arguements it would be so damaging. a few times, we were at the brinks of breaking up and calling the whole marriage off. it was the most challenging relationship i had ever been in, a true test to my character.
after everything that we both went through, boy i gotta say, it was all worth it. we are together now happily together. i can't believe that i was lucky enough to have found her, i really must have done something right in my past life to be this lucky. she is an amazing person, who always care and support me. someone who will try her best to do everything that makes me happy. she is always there to hug me and tell me that everything is going to be alright when i fall. she cooks, cleans, washes her clothes, and makes soft toys on the side.
so though i don't really know what a perfect wife is or what sort of person my wife should be. i just have this gut feeling that i made the absolute right choice back in india, and i am still blessed to this day. wifey, you will always be my wife, the only wife for me.
probably about one year ago, at this time, i would still be in india, in a city called mysore. it would be reaching near the end of wifey's stay in india and she would now have to leave to fly back to malaysia. but me on the other hand, i would have to stay in india for a bit longer before i too had to return to the states. this was perhaps one of the hardest moments for wifey and i, as we both didn't know what was to become of us once we parted ways.
i never thought that long distance relationships could work out, but i guess i just never found anyone worth waiting for. after meeting wifey and spending all those precious moments with her in india, the choice was much easier to make. and even if i knew what it would mean for us to stay together after we both left india, i was ready for that decision; i was ready to marry her.
after i got back to the states, i filed the paper for the petition to sponser wifey over. the process would take roughly 6 months or more, so we had to do it right away. and even during that time, we were still getting to know each other bit by bit. there was still a bit of doubt and uncertainty about what we were both getting into, i guess me more than her. but i didn't want to jump into marriage and then end up finding out that it was a mistake, i wanted to be more sure that this is what i really wanted.
so we waited for each other for the long 6 months. always using skype to talk to each other online. we had a set time for us to talk, and we would try to talk everyday. it was tough being long distance, and i never imagined it would as tough as it was. when times were good, things were fine, but when we got into arguements it would be so damaging. a few times, we were at the brinks of breaking up and calling the whole marriage off. it was the most challenging relationship i had ever been in, a true test to my character.
after everything that we both went through, boy i gotta say, it was all worth it. we are together now happily together. i can't believe that i was lucky enough to have found her, i really must have done something right in my past life to be this lucky. she is an amazing person, who always care and support me. someone who will try her best to do everything that makes me happy. she is always there to hug me and tell me that everything is going to be alright when i fall. she cooks, cleans, washes her clothes, and makes soft toys on the side.
so though i don't really know what a perfect wife is or what sort of person my wife should be. i just have this gut feeling that i made the absolute right choice back in india, and i am still blessed to this day. wifey, you will always be my wife, the only wife for me.
Monday, May 11, 2009
|:: Memories of Monday the 11th ::|
woke up today not wanting to go to work, no surprise there. i think i had some sort of nightmare, but didn't remember it too well; just that i woke up feeling a bit confused, like not knowing who to trust. then i see roccio (our dog) in the corner of my eye begging for food, so i pretend to close my eyes as to not see him. that's son of a bitch (literally) is so smart that he knows that i saw him, and continues begging while making this increasingly loud groaning noise.
so i wiggle out of the blanket to sit on the floor for a moment to refocus my eyes. 7:10... damn, probably going to be late again. went to get roccio's food from the other side of the room. dished him some kibbles in his bowl and placed it on the floor where he usually eats. then the idiot comes waltzing over lazily, looks at the food, and heads straight back into his cage to sleep! son of a... >O
took extra time to shower and think. had doubts about quitting work and how we are going to survive with no income for a while. really was tried to convince myself that quitting was a big mistake and that i should suck it up no matter how tough work was. then the logical reasoning kicked in and though it wasn't like a total change of mood, it did help reassure me that this was the right thing to do.
im such a fucking pansy when it comes to making life changing decisions like this...
so i wiggle out of the blanket to sit on the floor for a moment to refocus my eyes. 7:10... damn, probably going to be late again. went to get roccio's food from the other side of the room. dished him some kibbles in his bowl and placed it on the floor where he usually eats. then the idiot comes waltzing over lazily, looks at the food, and heads straight back into his cage to sleep! son of a... >O
took extra time to shower and think. had doubts about quitting work and how we are going to survive with no income for a while. really was tried to convince myself that quitting was a big mistake and that i should suck it up no matter how tough work was. then the logical reasoning kicked in and though it wasn't like a total change of mood, it did help reassure me that this was the right thing to do.
im such a fucking pansy when it comes to making life changing decisions like this...
|:: Doubts ::|
woke up today with a few doubts in my mind about work; about quitting and about how wifey and i will manage without income. again had worries about what do once i quit the job and no more income is there. and on top of that with the economy being the way that it is, makes me worry.
wifey keeps me strong and assures me of all the logical reasons for why this won't be so bad. we are both young and able, we are educated, we don't have house payments to pay for, and we don't have any kids. so we are as good as being free. and i know that it all sounds really logically and makes so much sense to quit, but i'm still worried...
had to take an extra long shower just to think things through. it was cold this morning in the room, but wifey was sleeping so soundly. i wanted to wake her up to talk to her but didn't have the heart to bring up the same issues over and over again.
wifey keeps me strong and assures me of all the logical reasons for why this won't be so bad. we are both young and able, we are educated, we don't have house payments to pay for, and we don't have any kids. so we are as good as being free. and i know that it all sounds really logically and makes so much sense to quit, but i'm still worried...
had to take an extra long shower just to think things through. it was cold this morning in the room, but wifey was sleeping so soundly. i wanted to wake her up to talk to her but didn't have the heart to bring up the same issues over and over again.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
|:: Where Should I Go? ::|
was thinking about what to do once i quit work. wifey wanted to go on road trips to LA, Vegas, and Charlett to visit some friends, which isn't a bad idea. but to be honest, i want to go somewhere warmer and were there are more asian people. closest place that comes to mind is malaysia.
funny thing is that i've only been there 5 times all and all since i met wifey. but somehow i feel so much more at home when i am there. i miss wifey's family and really the feeling of having a family that is together. family here, although we live together, we aren't at all together. closest person that i feel family with is my little brother. we have lots of differences in how we live our lives and our overall outlook of life, but despite everything, my brother and i are really close.
mom and dad on the other hand drift farther and farther apart from me. mom never was really there and is still not really here. always thinking about her work and making money, as if that was the only thing in the world. dad use to be cool and understanding, but not since i got married. i've been expressing myself to him more and more about who i am and what i do. guess he doesn't like it, because i am too expressive of my views. i think he realizes that i'm not as obedient as i was before when i was young.
so really, although i live here. i would rather be off somewhere else. i want to move somewhere nice where there is beaches around where the water is warm. a lively place where life is easy going, so i don't have to bust my ass to make a living. never understood that, why some people work so damn hard to make money but never get the time to enjoy it.
all and all, going back to malaysia would be so much fun! otherwise maybe we can visit brazil to go hangout with a friend from there, Vini. who knows, maybe i might not even be able to go anywhere since i am poor and have a wife to support. would be nice if i got lucky.
funny thing is that i've only been there 5 times all and all since i met wifey. but somehow i feel so much more at home when i am there. i miss wifey's family and really the feeling of having a family that is together. family here, although we live together, we aren't at all together. closest person that i feel family with is my little brother. we have lots of differences in how we live our lives and our overall outlook of life, but despite everything, my brother and i are really close.
mom and dad on the other hand drift farther and farther apart from me. mom never was really there and is still not really here. always thinking about her work and making money, as if that was the only thing in the world. dad use to be cool and understanding, but not since i got married. i've been expressing myself to him more and more about who i am and what i do. guess he doesn't like it, because i am too expressive of my views. i think he realizes that i'm not as obedient as i was before when i was young.
so really, although i live here. i would rather be off somewhere else. i want to move somewhere nice where there is beaches around where the water is warm. a lively place where life is easy going, so i don't have to bust my ass to make a living. never understood that, why some people work so damn hard to make money but never get the time to enjoy it.
all and all, going back to malaysia would be so much fun! otherwise maybe we can visit brazil to go hangout with a friend from there, Vini. who knows, maybe i might not even be able to go anywhere since i am poor and have a wife to support. would be nice if i got lucky.
|:: Nice Day of Doing Nothing ::|
woke up really early this morning... got woken up by roccio begging for food. he is doing that more and more these days in the morning when he knows that i wake up at that time to get ready for work. and if he doesn't get me to give him some food, he knows that he won't get any for the rest of the day, or until wifey wakes up.
7:20 AM, and i'm in bed staring at the ceiling. looked over at wifey who was sleeping so soundly and felt jealous. what had happen to me? i use to be able to be like that before too. forced myself to go back to sleep for a bit more thinking that i could somehow regain my sleeping stamina; nope, jolted to a wake at 8:30...
didn't have much to do, so i decided to wake up and go outside to do some study. i told myself that i would get around to starting my resume again today... but thought that the day was still really early so i'll just do whatever i want to do first. turned out, i had nothing to do... not surprising actually. sundays always start out like this.
have you ever sat in front of the computer and just stare at the google homepage? with the mouse pointed at the search box, but there is nothing there. trying hard to find something to serach up but nothing comes to mind? yeah that's what sundays are like for me. pretty nice day outside but i'm just sitting on the couch with nothing to do.
eventually, i called up a friend to go out to play some tennis. bad thing was that i forgot to, more like too lazy to, eat breakfast so i felt really sluggish on the court. it's nice talking to my friend and hitting the ball around. hopefully, i can get back into shape and play a real game next time.
7:20 AM, and i'm in bed staring at the ceiling. looked over at wifey who was sleeping so soundly and felt jealous. what had happen to me? i use to be able to be like that before too. forced myself to go back to sleep for a bit more thinking that i could somehow regain my sleeping stamina; nope, jolted to a wake at 8:30...
didn't have much to do, so i decided to wake up and go outside to do some study. i told myself that i would get around to starting my resume again today... but thought that the day was still really early so i'll just do whatever i want to do first. turned out, i had nothing to do... not surprising actually. sundays always start out like this.
have you ever sat in front of the computer and just stare at the google homepage? with the mouse pointed at the search box, but there is nothing there. trying hard to find something to serach up but nothing comes to mind? yeah that's what sundays are like for me. pretty nice day outside but i'm just sitting on the couch with nothing to do.
eventually, i called up a friend to go out to play some tennis. bad thing was that i forgot to, more like too lazy to, eat breakfast so i felt really sluggish on the court. it's nice talking to my friend and hitting the ball around. hopefully, i can get back into shape and play a real game next time.
|:: Ugly Work ::|
ah yes, the good old crazy topic of work. here's an overview about work:
it sucks!
ok and here's why. i'm still working for an indian company that doesn't know or care that i exist. i work for a shitty manager who also doesn't care or know that i exist. the damn guy only talks to me when his ass is on the line about something related to the project. and everytime he demands that i give him a complete overview of everything that has happened in the past month that he didn't talk to me. oh and of course it has to be in a "PPT" one page slide for his lazy ass to read.
then there is my partner who is suppose to be my lead to the project. right from the beginning when i met him, i sensed that he wasn't the right guy for the job. how? when he told me that the project was 80% complete and that all i was to do was deliever it to the client. and when he give me the application, the very first page crashed when i clicked "Go". shocked, i asked him stupidly if that was suppose to happen, and i get a bullshit answer about how offshore fucked it up; now it would take them 2 days to fix. my first impression...
really, i can go on and go for hours about how these two fucks have cause me a great deal of distress. but instead, im going to focus in on how i'm going to get out of the mess that i got myself into by joining this company.
yup, i'm going to do the only thing that makes sense... i'm going to quit!
now i know that the economy is bad and so many people are struggling to find work. but just thinking about working makes me feel angry and sick. i mean seriously, im here sitting on sunday and already i feel upset that tomorrow i will have to go back to work and face these damn bastards. it's really destroying my life.
after quitting, i want to take some time off and just do nothing for a month or so. of course i'll be looking for a new job all the while, and maybe will get lucky and find something good. i met up and had dinner with a friend and former coworker at boeing, tien and his girlfriend, on friday. he told me that he took lots of risks and moved around a lot when he was my age, and that in the end it worked out for him.
imma do the same thing! come end of the month i'm done with infoshit.
it sucks!
ok and here's why. i'm still working for an indian company that doesn't know or care that i exist. i work for a shitty manager who also doesn't care or know that i exist. the damn guy only talks to me when his ass is on the line about something related to the project. and everytime he demands that i give him a complete overview of everything that has happened in the past month that he didn't talk to me. oh and of course it has to be in a "PPT" one page slide for his lazy ass to read.
then there is my partner who is suppose to be my lead to the project. right from the beginning when i met him, i sensed that he wasn't the right guy for the job. how? when he told me that the project was 80% complete and that all i was to do was deliever it to the client. and when he give me the application, the very first page crashed when i clicked "Go". shocked, i asked him stupidly if that was suppose to happen, and i get a bullshit answer about how offshore fucked it up; now it would take them 2 days to fix. my first impression...
really, i can go on and go for hours about how these two fucks have cause me a great deal of distress. but instead, im going to focus in on how i'm going to get out of the mess that i got myself into by joining this company.
yup, i'm going to do the only thing that makes sense... i'm going to quit!
now i know that the economy is bad and so many people are struggling to find work. but just thinking about working makes me feel angry and sick. i mean seriously, im here sitting on sunday and already i feel upset that tomorrow i will have to go back to work and face these damn bastards. it's really destroying my life.
after quitting, i want to take some time off and just do nothing for a month or so. of course i'll be looking for a new job all the while, and maybe will get lucky and find something good. i met up and had dinner with a friend and former coworker at boeing, tien and his girlfriend, on friday. he told me that he took lots of risks and moved around a lot when he was my age, and that in the end it worked out for him.
imma do the same thing! come end of the month i'm done with infoshit.
|:: Yesterday's BBQ ::|
had a bbq at the beach yesterday with a bunch of friends. thought it would be a great sunny day to have a bbq get together last weekend, so just got up and did just that. it was great fun. to see my friends there together, and to see that i do have friends. we invited maybe 25 people and got a very good turn out.
the fire was hard to get started. the "guys" all tried to get it up and going, but there was so much wind that it made the nice sunny day cold. i'm not surprised that i wasn't able to get the fire started since i didn't have much camping or bonfire or bbq experience. wifey one the other hand was much smarter and more efficient, she got the fire started with the help of my friend Day. after a grueling hour and a half or so, the fire was started and the cooking commenced. then it was smooth sailing ahead.
the food was good and i got to talk to all my friends there. although we didn't talk too much about anything since everyone was too busy trying to get food. but all and all, i at least got to talk to the people who showed up.
it was good fun!
the fire was hard to get started. the "guys" all tried to get it up and going, but there was so much wind that it made the nice sunny day cold. i'm not surprised that i wasn't able to get the fire started since i didn't have much camping or bonfire or bbq experience. wifey one the other hand was much smarter and more efficient, she got the fire started with the help of my friend Day. after a grueling hour and a half or so, the fire was started and the cooking commenced. then it was smooth sailing ahead.
the food was good and i got to talk to all my friends there. although we didn't talk too much about anything since everyone was too busy trying to get food. but all and all, i at least got to talk to the people who showed up.
it was good fun!
|:: Start --> Shut Down --> Hibernate ::|
okay, so it's been a long time since i wrote anything here. not surprising, i'm just not too good about updating stuff or sitting down to write stuff, although i should be because i always write things down on paper. oh and btw, the place that i usually (if not always) do my writing is while i'm sitting on the toilet taking a dump. =S
so how are things going for me? usual. work, eat, sleep, play, think, worry. seems like i do much more of the last two things on the list now, but then again, i always have. sometimes, i wish there was a way to hibernate my brain, maybe then will i get some peace and quite.
i had more things to say about this post... but can't think of the words right now!
so how are things going for me? usual. work, eat, sleep, play, think, worry. seems like i do much more of the last two things on the list now, but then again, i always have. sometimes, i wish there was a way to hibernate my brain, maybe then will i get some peace and quite.
i had more things to say about this post... but can't think of the words right now!
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